Some people believe that more academic subjects such as chemistry, physics and history should be taught in schools, while others believe that students will derive more benefit from studying practical subjects, such as motor mechanics and cooking.

Nearly all humans think
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
studying academic subjects
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more important than learning
language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
. I think both of them have advantages and disadvantages,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
I choose
learning
Change the verb form
to learn
show examples
science
subject
,
although
even if I appreciate art.
To begin
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
learning
academic
Add an article
an academic
the academic
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
is
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
idea, for
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
secure
Fix the infinitive
to secure
show examples
a
placer
Correct your spelling
place
show examples
. Because if get into university that
make
Wrong verb form
will makes
show examples
beautiful life in the future.
In addition
, learning all
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your life,
for example
: if you go
to travel
Verb problem
travelling
show examples
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
speaking
Wrong verb form
speak
show examples
this
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
language and
also
you teach
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
show examples
children with your
mind
Correct word choice
own mind
show examples
that’s
good for your
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
.
Furthermore
, studying
science
subjects
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
bad sides.
For example
, if people
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
subject
Correct article usage
a subject
show examples
more
Change preposition
for more
show examples
time, they are far
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
reality and
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
expressionless.
Science
,
on the other hand
, is the study of the world around us to discover universal, irrefutable facts and get a better understanding of reality. To be
hones
Correct your spelling
honest
show examples
I appreciate art and music. Because
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
years ago I
was begin
Change the verb form
began
show examples
learning
Add the particle
learning to
show examples
play musical instruments
that’s
Unnecessary verb
that
show examples
include
Replace the word
including
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
piano and guitar,
that’s
Unnecessary verb
that
show examples
was
very
Rephrase
really
show examples
amazing, for me. Because I improve my
hear
Correct your spelling
heart
show examples
quality and view of the world. And until
this
day I
Add a missing verb
am interesting
show examples
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
play musical instruments. But
then
I understand people can not earn a lot of money if you do not perfect at your profession.
That’s
way
Correct your spelling
why
show examples
I choose
learning
Change the verb form
to learn
show examples
academic
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
. In conclusion, studying
science
is a good idea, but sometimes people need to be interested in art.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position and consistently support it throughout the essay. Avoid deviating from the main topic or mixing points.
coherence cohesion
Try to structure your essay logically with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.
task achievement
Provide relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will help to illustrate your ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your sentences are logically connected to each other. Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Improve the accuracy and clarity of your language by checking for grammar and vocabulary mistakes.
task achievement
The essay shows a clear attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, which is a good effort.
coherence cohesion
There is a conclusion present that summarizes the main points, which is essential for a cohesive essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!