Some people believe that more academic subjects such as chemistry, physics and history should be taught in schools, while others believe that students will derive more benefit from studying practical subjects, such as motor mechanics and cooking.

#people #subjects #chemistry #physics #history #schools #students #benefit #motor #mechanics

Nearly all humans think

about

Change preposition

that

show examples

studying academic subjects

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

more important than learning

language

Correct article usage

a language

show examples

. I think both of them have advantages and disadvantages,

however

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however,

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I choose

learning

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to learn

show examples

science

subject

although

even if I appreciate art.

To begin

with

Add a comma

with,

show examples

learning

academic

Add an article

an academic

the academic

show examples

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

good

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a good

show examples

idea, for

university

Correct article usage

the university

show examples

secure

Fix the infinitive

to secure

show examples

placer

Correct your spelling

place

show examples

. Because if get into university that

make

Wrong verb form

will makes

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beautiful life in the future.

In addition

, learning all

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

your life,

for example

: if you go

to travel

Verb problem

travelling

show examples

your

Correct pronoun usage

you

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speaking

Wrong verb form

speak

show examples

this

country

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country's

show examples

language and

also

you teach

own

Correct pronoun usage

your own

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children with your

mind

Correct word choice

own mind

show examples

that’s

good for your

finance

Fix the agreement mistake

finances

show examples

Furthermore

, studying

science

subjects

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

bad sides.

For example

, if people

learning

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

subject

Correct article usage

a subject

show examples

Change preposition

for more

show examples

time, they are far

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from

show examples

reality and

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

expressionless.

Science

on the other hand

, is the study of the world around us to discover universal, irrefutable facts and get a better understanding of reality. To be

hones

Correct your spelling

honest

show examples

I appreciate art and music. Because

few

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a few

show examples

years ago I

was begin

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began

show examples

learning

Add the particle

learning to

show examples

play musical instruments

that’s

Unnecessary verb

that

show examples

include

Replace the word

including

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

piano and guitar,

that’s

Unnecessary verb

that

show examples

was

very

Rephrase

really

show examples

amazing, for me. Because I improve my

hear

Correct your spelling

heart

show examples

quality and view of the world. And until

this

day I

Add a missing verb

am interesting

show examples

interesting

Replace the word

interested

show examples

play musical instruments. But

then

I understand people can not earn a lot of money if you do not perfect at your profession.

That’s

way

Correct your spelling

why

show examples

I choose

learning

Change the verb form

to learn

show examples

academic

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

. In conclusion, studying

science

is a good idea, but sometimes people need to be interested in art.

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Thu May 16 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to clearly state your position and consistently support it throughout the essay. Avoid deviating from the main topic or mixing points.

coherence cohesion

Try to structure your essay logically with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.

task achievement

Provide relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will help to illustrate your ideas more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your sentences are logically connected to each other. Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your writing.

coherence cohesion

Improve the accuracy and clarity of your language by checking for grammar and vocabulary mistakes.

task achievement

The essay shows a clear attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, which is a good effort.

coherence cohesion

There is a conclusion present that summarizes the main points, which is essential for a cohesive essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

239 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that more academic subjects such as chemistry, physics and history should be taught in schools, while others believe that students will derive more benefit from studying practical subjects, such as motor mechanics and cooking.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

In some countries a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development?