IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary epoch, most individuals face trouble
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not getting a night of proper sleep
due to
Linking Words
 high
stress
Use synonyms
 which
further
Linking Words
 leads to the situation, lack of concentration during their work and feeling fatigued most of the time.
This
Linking Words
 essay will delve into the issues caused
due to
Linking Words
 low sleeping hours and will provide the proper remedies to overcome
this
Linking Words
 problem.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the most prominent reason behind
this
Linking Words
 scenario is that it occurs
due to
Linking Words
 high levels of
stress
Use synonyms
 that might be
due to
Linking Words
 personal or professional reasons which cause numerous problems in the lives of humans
such
Linking Words
 as health ailments or low levels of concentration and motivation towards employment.
This
Linking Words
 leads to a downfall in the productivity of the body.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if ordinary people do not sleep well, it is quite usual for them to feel tired during the shift and
this
Linking Words
 would exacerbate the situation and frustration or aggressive behaviour towards their colleagues or family members could be noted.
However
Linking Words
, if humans face the problem of lack of sleep,
then
Linking Words
 they must consult a doctor immediately to resolve
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Besides
Linking Words
, taking proper care of health by performing some physical activities
such
Linking Words
 as joining a gym, evening walks, or yoga could help to control the
stress
Use synonyms
 level and it might be helpful to alleviate
stress
Use synonyms
 and get a good sleep. Meanwhile, a serene environment is
also
Linking Words
 essential to calm the mind and body to get a good sleep.
To conclude
Linking Words
, as per the testimonials mentioned above it is crystal clear that low sleeping patterns have adverse effects on the health of the individual and lead to poor repercussions.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is vital to get good sleep by exercising or consulting a specialist at regular intervals.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay addresses the main points, it could benefit from more specific examples to support the discussed problems and solutions. For instance, mentioning particular studies or expert opinions can make the arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, but the logical flow between some sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. Adding transitional phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Additionally' can help maintain a cohesive flow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion by providing a broad view of the issue and briefly mentioning the main points that will be covered.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and provides a brief reflection on the significance of addressing sleep deprivation.
task achievement
The essay does a good job in acknowledging the complexity of sleep deprivation by mentioning both personal and professional stress as contributing factors.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Insomnia
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Sleep disorders
  • Sleep quality
  • Fatigue
  • Exhaustion
  • Restless
  • Restorative sleep
  • REM sleep
  • Circadian rhythm
  • Sleep hygiene
  • Napping
  • Sleep duration
  • Melatonin
  • Sleep-inducing
  • Drowsiness
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Obstructive sleep apnea
  • Snoring
  • Sleepwalking
  • Sleep talking
  • Shift work
  • Sleeping pills
  • Sleep aid
  • Relaxation techniques
  • Meditation
  • Deep breathing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: