Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
There is no denying the fact that students attend university to improve their prospects and find suitable employment after graduation.
While
it is a commonly held belief that some learners feel about other subjects
in addition
to their main subjects
, there is also
an argument that others think studying for a qualification. This
essay will analyse this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, learning about other subjects
can broaden students knowledge and perspectives.In other words
, studying for a qualification enables students to specialize in a particular field. In addition
, learning provides a structured path and clear goals. For example
, Studies have shown that learning skills outside the field of specialization contribute to the labour market. On the other hand
, devoting all attention to the core subjects
can lead to deeper expertise and a stronger command of the field It is also
possible to say that this
is crucial for professions requiring specialized knowledge. Moreover
, incorporating other subjects
can make studies more enjoyable and reduce burnout. For instance
, it provides a mental break and stimulates curiosity.In conclusion, there are no easy answers to this
question. On balance, however
, I tend to believe that they must focus on the main item at the university while
Focusing on developing the skills required for the labour marketSubmitted by 01_salver_cheek on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides an opinion, which is good. However, it would be beneficial to elaborate more on each point to provide a clearer and more comprehensive response. For example, the sections discussing the benefits of specializing in a particular field and the potential for broader knowledge both could use more in-depth examples or reasoning.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is mostly clear, but there are areas where the flow could be improved. Transitions between points can be smoother, and more cohesive devices can be used to increase readability. For instance, the link between the paragraphs discussing student benefits and the final conclusion can be strengthened.
coherence cohesion
While you have an introduction and conclusion, they could be more robust. Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize the key arguments presented in the essay. This will help give your essay a more defined structure.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and covers both viewpoints, which is essential for task achievement.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt to provide relevant examples, such as studies showing the benefits of developing skills outside one's field of specialization.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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