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Band 4.5

More and more students are choosing to study at college and universities in foreign countries. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks

#students #study #college #universities #countries
The international education exchange has been
enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhanced
show examples
 in
this
 current era to choose a better education they select to study in abroad universities and colleges. It has more pros than cons, I will elaborate on my opinion in upcoming paragraphs. Students choose to migrate for study, which
succour
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succours
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 them to became
independants
Correct your spelling
independents
independent
as well as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
fosters them to build a confidant. Students might enhance their knowledge by graduating from foreign colleges.
As a result
, they can be in excellent positions in the future and they can fulfil the basic
necessity
Fix the agreement mistake
necessities
show examples
 for their family and kids.
For example
,
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one place might
be cause
Verb problem
have
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the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 detrimental effect on a
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
carrier
 for gaining
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
knowledge. Might
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
became
Wrong verb form
become
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 stronger because of
rollercostal
Correct your spelling
rollercoaster
 times, which helps them to be a strong person and can easily solve future problems
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
For instance
, if student are in their comfort zone
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 they might be afraid if they have to manage both things together like cooking and studying. They
also
 learn new cultural norms and new languages.
As a consequence
, it helps them in future to communicate with foreign people and
didn’t
Verb problem
not
show examples
 need to rely on others. An outstanding example is that, if students move to
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 spoken country
then
 they learn it and as it is the most spoken language in the world, which succour them in most of the part of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
.
On the other hand
, they might feel loneliness because of being away from family. In recapitulation, I deem that
accomplish
Wrong verb form
accomplishing
show examples
 student goals and
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 a
prominant
Correct your spelling
prominent
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
gave
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 more positive outcomes if they study in
international
Correct article usage
an international
show examples
 college.
Submitted by milonishekhaliya on

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coherence and cohesion
It's important to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that the ideas are logically organized. Consider using more transition words to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
While your response is generally complete, some points need further elaboration. Ensure that each argument is clearly explained and supported by relevant examples or evidence.
coherence and cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity. Reading your essay aloud could help identify awkward phrasing or grammatical errors.
task achievement
You have a strong understanding of the topic and provide multiple reasons to support your opinion, which demonstrates a good level of task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure the overall response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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