Teenagers face a lot of difficulties at home and at school. What are the causes for this? How can parents provide solutions?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In modern times, most
teenagers
Use synonyms
encounter countless challenges at home and school.
This
Linking Words
is a social problem which needs to be fixed, attentioning their lives. To suggest some solutions,
adults
Use synonyms
and
parents
Use synonyms
should pay attention to their
children
Use synonyms
. In school, many
teenagers
Use synonyms
make
friends
Use synonyms
and experience a sense of community before they become
adults
Use synonyms
. During their student time, they have to be familiar with
friends
Use synonyms
,
adjust
Correct word choice
and adjust
show examples
to the social setting.
For example
Linking Words
, in a school, most teachers require their students to
be getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
along with
Linking Words
their
friends
Use synonyms
, suggesting a project which is needed to be a team.
According to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
project, students can acquire a sense of community and discipline and, teachers can help them foster the environment. From
this
Linking Words
experience, students can recognise responsibilities and solve
this
Linking Words
problem. Sometimes,
teenagers
Use synonyms
could struggle with their
future
Use synonyms
dream
Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
show examples
and plans because people often say that their
children
Use synonyms
have to get their
future
Use synonyms
dreams, plan the processes, and execute these processes.
However
Linking Words
, their
children
Use synonyms
might be prepared and nervous.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
should be patient and advise carefully to their
children
Use synonyms
. If their
children
Use synonyms
struggle with imagining their
future
Use synonyms
work,
parents
Use synonyms
can provide an experience
to observe
Change preposition
of observing
show examples
various jobs by visiting job museums targeted at
teenagers
Use synonyms
. In contemporary,
it is clear that
Linking Words
many
teenagers
Use synonyms
have to face too many difficulties in their lives, searching for their
future
Use synonyms
dreams and plans
as well as
Linking Words
getting
along with
Linking Words
their
friends
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
adults
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as their
parents
Use synonyms
and teachers can play a critical role in the process in which their
children
Use synonyms
make good decisions and provide informative materials to them.In conclusion, I believe that
this
Linking Words
issue could be solved by the
adults
Use synonyms
who are close to their
children
Use synonyms
with wise advice.
Submitted by jsy4893 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the causes of difficulties faced by teenagers and providing potential solutions offered by parents. However, the explanation of causes could be more detailed and varied, highlighting different aspects like peer pressure, academic pressure, family expectations, etc.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay presents clear ideas but can benefit from adding more diverse examples and specific situations. For example, discussing different kinds of academic pressures or providing more detailed solutions parents could offer would strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is coherent, but there are some sentences that could be more concise and better connected. Improving the flow between paragraphs and ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single idea would enhance readability.
supported main points
Ensure that each main point is well-supported with relevant examples. Current examples, such as teachers encouraging group projects, could be expanded with more specifics to better illustrate how these experiences help solve the issues.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion well.
task achievement
The essay does a good job of linking the responsibility of both schools and parents in addressing the issues faced by teenagers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • struggling
  • overwhelmed
  • challenging
  • cope
  • pressure
  • intimidation
  • supportive
  • effective communication
  • expectations
  • tension
  • compromise
  • negotiation
  • confrontation
  • addiction
  • screen time
What to do next:
Look at other essays: