Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents since their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family

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Today,
childrens
Correct your spelling
children

It appears that the noun childrens is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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are taken care
by
Change preposition
of by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their grandparents because their
parents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

choose to have 9 to 5
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs

It seems that job may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. I am of the opinion that it does not cause hindrance to a large extent as they are surrounded by well support system.
However
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,
this
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phenomenon has some downside which shall be discussed in the following passages. In today's world,
due to
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rising prices in
commodity
Fix the agreement mistake
commodities

It seems that commodity may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and goods, there is no choice but both
genderr
Correct your spelling
genders
gender

If you don’t want genderr to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

ought to work to keep up with their household expenditure.
Hence
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,
instead
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of leaving their prodigy in
day care
Correct your spelling
daycare

The word day care seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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, they seek help from their
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to take care of their grandchildren. In my point of view, I think it is a great alternative solution because
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction because. Consider removing the comma.

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grandmother and grandfather will always inculcate and teach good habits to our
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

through small games and stories. Because, old generation people are retired, helping their
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's baby raise keeps them occupied.
Hence
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, it is a win-win situation for everybody. Another advantage is that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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parents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can work in peace knowing their
off springs
Correct your spelling
offsprings

The word off springs seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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are in good and safe
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands

It seems that hand may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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which can indirectly help them in their careers.
However
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,
on the contrary
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, there are some demerits,
such
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as toddlers and
pre teenagers
Add a hyphen
pre-teenagers

It seems that pre teenagers is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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are very active individuals,
older
Correct word choice
and older

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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people cannot keep up with their speed and might end up having an injury.
This
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causes inconvenience to them.
Furthermore
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, today kids are becoming very smart with
gadget's
Change noun form
gadgets

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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, senior
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens

It seems that citizen may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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might not have that much knowledge about new technology,
hence
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it becomes difficult for them to teach any school work to their descendants.
Also
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, because
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

spend so much time with their grandparents, they might share everything only
them
Change preposition
with them

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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making their
parents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

feel left out and guilty. Anyways, couples can overcome
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue by spending quality time during the weekends.
To conclude
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I think grandparents can be a boon to
great
Add an article
a great

The noun phrase great extent seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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extent as
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are in safe hands and
doesn't
Change the verb form
don't

The singular verb does does not appear to agree with the plural subject children. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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cause much hindrance to anyone.

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task response
Consider revising the introduction for clarity. The sentence 'children's are taken care by their grandparents' contains a grammatical error. It should be 'children are taken care of by their grandparents.'
task response
Ensure consistency in tense and subject-verb agreement. For example, change 'both gender ought to work' to 'both genders ought to work.'
coherence cohesion
Be cautious with punctuation to improve readability, such as eliminating unnecessary commas (e.g., 'Because, old generation people are retired, helping their children's baby raise ...' should be 'Because older people are retired, helping raise their grandchildren ...').
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by connecting ideas more smoothly. For instance, the transition between benefits and drawbacks could be more fluid.
task response
It might be helpful to expand on the specific examples provided or include additional examples to illustrate your points more effectively.
task response
The essay does a commendable job of addressing both sides of the issue, looking at both advantages and drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion present the reader with a clear understanding of the essay's purpose and wrap up the discussion effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay uses a logical structure, presenting each point in an organized manner, making it easier for the reader to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • multigenerational households
  • emotional support
  • generational gap
  • life lessons
  • family bonds
  • childcare
  • health issues
  • values
  • guilt
  • regret
  • family dynamics
  • sense of purpose
  • physical strain
  • emotional strain
  • societal implications
What to do next:
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