Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents since their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family

#majority #children #grandparents #parents

Today,

childrens

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children

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are taken care

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of by

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their grandparents because their

parents

choose to have 9 to 5

job

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jobs

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. I am of the opinion that it does not cause hindrance to a large extent as they are surrounded by well support system.

However

this

phenomenon has some downside which shall be discussed in the following passages. In today's world,

due to

rising prices in

commodity

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commodities

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and goods, there is no choice but both

genderr

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genders

gender

ought to work to keep up with their household expenditure.

Hence

instead

of leaving their prodigy in

day care

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daycare

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, they seek help from their

parents

to take care of their grandchildren. In my point of view, I think it is a great alternative solution because

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apply

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grandmother and grandfather will always inculcate and teach good habits to our

children

through small games and stories. Because, old generation people are retired, helping their

children

's baby raise keeps them occupied.

Hence

, it is a win-win situation for everybody. Another advantage is that

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apply

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parents

can work in peace knowing their

off springs

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offsprings

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are in good and safe

hand

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hands

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which can indirectly help them in their careers.

However

on the contrary

, there are some demerits,

such

as toddlers and

pre teenagers

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pre-teenagers

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are very active individuals,

older

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and older

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people cannot keep up with their speed and might end up having an injury.

This

causes inconvenience to them.

Furthermore

, today kids are becoming very smart with

gadget's

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gadgets

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, senior

citizen

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citizens

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might not have that much knowledge about new technology,

hence

it becomes difficult for them to teach any school work to their descendants.

Also

, because

children

spend so much time with their grandparents, they might share everything only

them

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with them

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making their

parents

feel left out and guilty. Anyways, couples can overcome

this

issue by spending quality time during the weekends.

To conclude

, I think grandparents can be a boon to

great

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a great

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extent as

children

are in safe hands and

doesn't

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don't

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cause much hindrance to anyone.

Submitted by u.umayal92 on Fri May 17 2024

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task response

Consider revising the introduction for clarity. The sentence 'children's are taken care by their grandparents' contains a grammatical error. It should be 'children are taken care of by their grandparents.'

task response

Ensure consistency in tense and subject-verb agreement. For example, change 'both gender ought to work' to 'both genders ought to work.'

coherence cohesion

Be cautious with punctuation to improve readability, such as eliminating unnecessary commas (e.g., 'Because, old generation people are retired, helping their children's baby raise ...' should be 'Because older people are retired, helping raise their grandchildren ...').

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure by connecting ideas more smoothly. For instance, the transition between benefits and drawbacks could be more fluid.

task response

It might be helpful to expand on the specific examples provided or include additional examples to illustrate your points more effectively.

task response

The essay does a commendable job of addressing both sides of the issue, looking at both advantages and drawbacks.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion present the reader with a clear understanding of the essay's purpose and wrap up the discussion effectively.

coherence cohesion

The essay uses a logical structure, presenting each point in an organized manner, making it easier for the reader to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

multigenerational households
emotional support
generational gap
life lessons
family bonds
childcare
health issues
values
guilt
regret
family dynamics
sense of purpose
physical strain
emotional strain
societal implications

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Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents since their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It's a country of people are encourage to work a travel for a year between in high school and study university discuss the advantage and disadvantage of people who decide to do this.

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Some people think that if a country is already rich, further economic development will not result in its citizens being any happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some students decide early in life to pursue vocational careers that involve cooking or baking. For them, it is better to study their chosen occupations in high school rather than regular subjects. To what extend do you are or disagree?