In some countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the internet?

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The
Internet
has changed the way we perceive
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
activities. It has affected major walks of life and given entertainment a new perspective. Majority of the western countries have digitally revolutionised and
everyone
has
access
to the
internet
while
in other parts of the
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
it is still considered
as
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apply
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a luxury. It is often argued that governments should be responsible for ensuring that
everyone
can get
access
to the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. I personally do not believe that it is the
government
’s responsibility to provide free
internet
access
to
everyone
as it is quite an unreasonable demand. In
this
essay, I will support my opinion with examples. In many growing economies, the
government
has several major problems to tackle like hunger, poverty, infrastructure and healthcare etc. In my opinion, equating these issues with the need
of
Change preposition
for
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access
to the
internet
is quite illogical
however
, the
government
can
instead
digitalise public institutions
such
as libraries, colleges, community centres etc and provide free
internet
access
to
everyone
. Various studies have shown that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of the people use
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
for entertainment rather than educational purposes. Social media like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc are the most commonly visited sites as compared to educational websites, which are rarely browsed. Setting up
internet
facilities requires expensive equipment which will put
additional
Correct article usage
an additional
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burden on an already pressurised
government
and I would rather have the
government
spend
this
money to eradicate poverty or on the basic needs of its citizens. In the end, I would like
to conclude
that even though providing
internet
access
in some parts of the world will be a step in the right direction, certainly it’s not the need of the hour.
According to
me, providing basic facilities
such
as food, sanitation, clean drinking water etc are of much more importance and should be dealt
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
first. (301 Words)
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing the topic, but there is room for improvement in providing relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you could mention specific countries or situations where governments have successfully implemented digital initiatives to improve internet access in public institutions.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more transition words and phrases to smoothen the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, instead of starting a sentence abruptly with 'However,' you could contextualize it to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Work on diversifying your vocabulary and sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and less repetitive. This will help in maintaining the reader's interest and improving the overall quality of your writing.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is well-structured and clearly outlines your stance on the topic. This immediately sets the tone for the rest of the essay and provides a clear direction for your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
You have provided a logical conclusion that summarizes your arguments effectively. This leaves the reader with a clear understanding of your viewpoint and aligns well with the introduction, creating a cohesive essay.
task achievement
You have correctly identified some of the major issues that governments in growing economies need to focus on, which makes your argument more persuasive.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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