International communities should act immediately to ensure that all countries reduce their consumption of fossil fuels, e.g. gas and oil.  To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
a significant increase in the consumption of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
in order to spur economic development.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
causes a range of ecological problems,
such
Linking Words
as air pollution and energy crisis.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some people claim that all countries should reduce the use of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
. I tend to agree with
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
view. One primary reason is that
this
Linking Words
measure is beneficial for reducing carbon dioxide emissions (the main contributor to the rise of global temperature) and the growing speed of climate and ocean temperature. If the action were not taken, there would not be chances for many marine and land flora and fauna to live, since they cannot adapt to the warmer water and find suitable habitats to
scrape
Verb problem
make
show examples
a living.
Besides
Linking Words
, the proposed action has positive effects on relieving
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
show examples
crisis. With the limitation of using fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
from international communities, every nation will be forced to devote more resources, including funds and labour, to the research and development of renewable energies,
such
Linking Words
as solar and
hydro power
Correct your spelling
hydropower
show examples
, which are more eco-friendly and can promote the well-being of both human and wild creatures.
However
Linking Words
, some countries may not have any experience in developing new energy. If cutting down the use of traditional
fuels
Use synonyms
in these nations is urged, citizens'
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
may suffer and struggle.
Thus
Linking Words
, I think the measure should first taken in some developed countries, which are often the principal consumers of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
,
due to
Linking Words
the cutting-edge technology of developing alternative energies there. At the same time, international communities should help introduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advanced technology into underdeveloped regions to pave the base of
also
Linking Words
decreasing the use of gas and oil there. In conclusion, I think it is the developed areas that should be the region where the tactic be taken
Linking Words
firstly
Change the word
first
show examples
. And
then
Linking Words
with the help of international organizations, other regions should
also
Linking Words
adopt
this
Linking Words
policy to make a joint effort together to protect our planet.
Submitted by 1378468145 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between paragraphs are smooth, this will enhance the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion that aligns well with the task response.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task adequately with relevant arguments that are generally well-developed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: