IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You are not satisfied with the changing rooms in a sports centre that you visit. Write a letter to the manager. - What the problem is - How you feel about the problem - What steps you want the manager to take

#rooms #sports #centre #visit #manager #steps
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Dear sir, My name is Mohammed
sufian
Change the capitalization
Sufian
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 and I am writing
this
 letter to bring your attention to the unpleasant experience I had in changing rooms at your sports centre.
Last
 week, I had an opportunity to visit your sports centre and I would appreciate how well you have managed it.
However
, I
happen
Wrong verb form
happened
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 to visit the changing rooms after my game and I am sorry to say but I was literally disappointed with the hygiene part, it was in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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too bad shape, managed poorly, with used napkins spread all over the floor and wash basins not cleaned. I felt devastated and left the place without using it. Hygiene is an important part
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 at a place like
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
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 centre and it should be given
a
Remove the article
apply
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paramount importance,
hence
 I request you to keep regular checks of changing rooms and assign the best staff to manage it.
i
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I
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 recommend you
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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post some notices to remind users to use it properly and instruct your cleaning staff to work
deligently
Correct your spelling
diligently
. I hope you will consider
hygiene
Correct article usage
the hygiene
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 part
on
Change preposition
apply
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your top priority and
expecting
Wrong verb form
expect
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 a better experience when I visit it next time. Regards, Mohammed
sufian
Correct your spelling
Sufyan
.
Submitted by hassan05.quadri on

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task achievement
Your letter covers all the points required by the task, but consider breaking down complex sentences for more clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraphs are well-organized, but make sure each paragraph conveys a single idea clearly to improve readability.
task achievement
Ensure consistency in tone; for instance, addressing the manager properly such as 'Dear Sir or Madam'.
tone
Your letter maintains a polite and respectful tone throughout, which is suitable for formal correspondence.
organization
Clear structure with a greeting, body, and closing. This aids in readability and coherence.
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