In the contemporary era, a growing amount of money has been deeply invested in artworks by the governments. There are some proponents who advocate that this largely artistic investment could ideally be spent on many other vital fileds

#era #amount #money #artworks #governments #proponents #advocate #investment #fileds

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In the contemporary era, a growing amount of money has been deeply invested in artworks by the

governments

Use synonyms

. There are some proponents who advocate that

this

Linking Words

largely artistic

investment

Use synonyms

could ideally be spent on many other vital

fileds

Correct your spelling

fields

files

This

Linking Words

essay’s writer staunchly believes that authorities should prioritize public platforms

due to

Linking Words

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

long-

last

Linking Words

positive influences

as well as

Linking Words

avoiding the highly potential country’s degradation resulting from

unsuccesful

Correct your spelling

unsuccessful

successful

financial development. It is essential to recognize that allocating a great deal of budget to artistic domains is

unsafe

Correct article usage

an unsafe

show examples

economic

strategies at

Replace the word

strategy

show examples

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

. To elaborate on

this

Linking Words

, regardless of

highly

Rephrase

the high

show examples

demand of citizens to

pursuit

Replace the word

pursue

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

beauty and perfection from majestic sculptures or paintings which seem to cultivate their spirit lives,

governments

Use synonyms

had better

Remove the marker

apply

show examples

take control in balancing their finance supporting

art

Use synonyms

with other fundamental public programs like

healthcare

Correct article usage

the healthcare

show examples

system or educational advancement.

Otherwise

Linking Words

, they will

cetainly

Correct your spelling

certainly

run into

Remove the article

apply

show examples

debt

Change preposition

apply

show examples

soon or later since the

interests

Fix the agreement mistake

interest

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

incentives

gain

Wrong verb form

gained

show examples

from

art

Use synonyms

institutions

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

virtually inconsiderable. Taking American authorities for the prime instance where politics always strive

for putting

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to put

show examples

moneytary

Correct your spelling

monetary

effort into the

drastical

Correct your spelling

practical

development of transportation and colleges which are frequently advertised with several artistic posters wrapping around the buses or on some main halls in the universities as an effective method for

art

Use synonyms

investment

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, there are some opponents who strongly support the idea of excessive concern of

governments

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in developing many pieces of

art

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

its visualized values contributing to the process of beautilizing the perspectives of

globe

Add an article

the globe

show examples

towards their country.

This

Linking Words

may be a valid point

Change preposition

show examples

some extent, but people ought to consider sustained benefits in any investments, either

family-size

Correct your spelling

family size

show examples

or national size.

In other words

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

the main purpose of expanding

artistic

Correct article usage

the artistic

show examples

filed

Correct your spelling

field

show examples

seem

Correct subject-verb agreement

seems

show examples

to be a valuable

compaign

Correct your spelling

campaign

Change preposition

apply

show examples

it bolsters cultural

strengtheness

Correct your spelling

strength

Nevertheless

Linking Words

shold

Correct your spelling

should

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

immensively invest in

this

Linking Words

area, it will turn out to be unsuccesary for the reason that other sectors are

greatl

Correct your spelling

greatly

great

imparative

Correct your spelling

imperative

. From

this

Linking Words

writer’s

xperience

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experience

, I firmly recommend that the more

interests

Fix the agreement mistake

interest

show examples

governments

Use synonyms

have

for

Change preposition

show examples

artistic

Correct article usage

the artistic

show examples

filed

Correct your spelling

field

show examples

, the more meticulous recording history they need to do so.

To simply

Change preposition

Simply

show examples

put, even no matter how much budget

authorites

Correct your spelling

authorities

have spent on works of

art

Use synonyms

, it is indispensable to implement as soon as possible

manyeconomic

Correct your spelling

many economic

regulations

as well as

Linking Words

stricter laws on curbing these investments.

As a result

Linking Words

, even if

governments

Use synonyms

freely invest national money in

this

Linking Words

area, but with a certain control, their countries will not definitely run a debt or even

contrastly

Correct your spelling

contrast

contrasty

increasingly develop. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

conclusion, a prediction of leaving

such

Linking Words

countries with insurmountable debt and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

investing paucity in other urgent services

Correct quantifier usage

such as

show examples

healthcare or educational development are essential points that need to be considered.

Hence

Linking Words

, in order to balance between artistic

investment

Use synonyms

and public programs,

governments

Use synonyms

must maintain

Change preposition

apply

show examples

regularly

Change the word

regular

show examples

record

Correct subject-verb agreement

records

show examples

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

own expenditure or their

investment

Use synonyms

will become

rdundant

Correct your spelling

redundant

along

Linking Words

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

futile

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Fri May 17 2024

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task achievement

You have addressed the main issues in the prompt and provided a clear stance. However, some parts of your argument could be further expanded and clarified to make your response more comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

To achieve better coherence, consider using more linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas within paragraphs. For example, instead of starting a sentence with 'However,' use phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Conversely' to show contrast.

coherence cohesion

There are a few grammatical and spelling errors (e.g., 'filed' instead of 'field', 'moneytary' instead of 'monetary'). Taking the time to proofread and correct these will help maintain the clarity of your essay.

task achievement

Expand on your main points with more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, when you mention the importance of education and healthcare, provide more details on why these areas are critical for a country’s development.

introduction conclusion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your main ideas well.

logical structure

You attempt to present both sides of the argument before stating your position, which is a good strategy for a balanced essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

482 words

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