IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Task 1 - the graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Task 1 - the graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#shops #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph gives information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of closed
shops
Use synonyms
 and new
shops
Use synonyms
 which opened in one country over the
period
Use synonyms
 (2011 to 2018). As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen, the
number
Use synonyms
 of closing and opening
shops
Use synonyms
 has been fluctuated over the given
period
Use synonyms
,
as well as
Linking Words
 the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 that opened and closed dropped dramatically in the middle of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
. To commence with the
number
Use synonyms
 of market closures, it illustrates that it reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak of 8500 in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 year of the given
period
Use synonyms
. Later on, the quantity
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gradual
Change the word
gradually
show examples
fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
 before it remained stable from 2015 to 2017. From 2017 to 2018, the
closed
Correct quantifier usage
number of closed
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
 decreased slightly
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 3000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, new
shops
Use synonyms
 started to open with more than 6000
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2011. Opened
shops
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 trend
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the closed
shops
Use synonyms
 which
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated. In 2015, the
number
Use synonyms
 of operated
shops
Use synonyms
 fell suddenly to less than 1000. From 2016,
opened
Correct article usage
the opened
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
 increased considerably before
leveled
Wrong verb form
levelling
show examples
 off approximately at 5000.
Submitted by rajaa.albriki on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
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