The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Child obesity is a challenging dilemma in the modern world these days, especially in

western

Capitalize word

Western

show examples

society, where the proportion of obese

children

Use synonyms

has grown by almost 20% in the

last

Linking Words

decade.

This

Linking Words

essay will elaborate on several main culprits of

this

Linking Words

issue and propose some outcomes of

this

Linking Words

problem. There are various factors leading to the grounds of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rising in number of obese

children

Use synonyms

. First of all, the diet of kids is mostly ignored by their parents.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ignorance about the essential substances that are needed for the growth of

children

Use synonyms

and bad foods harming their kids.

Therefore

Linking Words

, harmful meals,

such

Linking Words

as ready-made meals, which are a quick and easy option for many parents, are usually fed to

children

Use synonyms

, leading to detrimental matter entering the body. Another reason for the large number of obese

children

Use synonyms

is the numerous advertisements.

For instance

Linking Words

, more and more

colorful

Change the spelling

colourful

show examples

advertisements about fast food brands like Pizza Hut or McDonald’s appear on every device, attracting

children

Use synonyms

to eat fast food. The effects of

this

Linking Words

have been and will continue to be very serious.

Firstly

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

with obesity tend to have more diseases than normal

children

Use synonyms

, especially cancer.

In addition

Linking Words

, cancer is a very dangerous health problem, which may make the

children

Use synonyms

stay in the hospital forever. Not only that, overweight

children

Use synonyms

often experience bullying from other kids because of the difference in body size.

For example

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

a survey in 2022, among 100 students in a high school, more than 30% of them have discriminated against obese people.

This

Linking Words

can damage obese

children

Use synonyms

’s mental health and make them feel unconfident whenever they go out. In conclusion, it is evident that there are several causes of

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

obesity

Change preposition

among

show examples

amongst

Change preposition

among

show examples

children

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and a variety of negative effects. Society must propose methods to end

this

Linking Words

issue.

khoianh2404Fri May 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

You have addressed the task effectively, covering both causes and effects clearly. However, your essay could benefit from a more in-depth analysis and more detailed examples.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas are generally well-organized and logically structured. To improve, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to enhance the flow of your argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both clear and concise, fulfilling their roles well. However, you could strengthen your conclusion by suggesting specific methods society could use to address childhood obesity.

task achievement

Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, discussing both causes and effects in a balanced manner.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction gives a good overview of the topic, and your conclusion successfully summarizes the main points of your essay.

task achievement

You have used relevant examples to support your points, which enhances the credibility and persuasiveness of your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

overweight
obesity
caloric intake
sedentary lifestyle
screen time
physical education
nutritious
psychological well-being
self-esteem
socioeconomic
healthcare system
life expectancy
obesity-related complications

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline is the responsibility of teachers while other think that this is the role of parents. In this essay I will discuss both the viewpoints and share my opinion.
Undoubtedly, spending life in rules is a prudent idea in the today's world. Some section of individuals notion that tutors play a vital role to teach the value of discipline, whereas others say that this is the responsibility of parents. In this essay, I will analyze both the sides along with my view points in the favour of latter statement in the upolcoming paragraphs.
7
band
Some people say that travel helps us to appreciate other cultures. How true is this statement? Do you think that people who travel a lot appreciate other cultures more than those who stay at home?
Some individuals state that travel assists us in appreciating other cultures. This essay will elaborate on how this statement is true to a certain extent and how people who travel a lot have a tendency to respect other cultures more.
5.5
band
It is common nowadays for each member of family to have their own peace of modern technology. Some people think that this will lead to a break down in the family relationships and communication to what extent do you agree or disagree.
It has become a recent trend that each family member has their own electric devices, which has become a primary reason for the corruption of their relationships and communication. I partially support this view, for more prolonged hours they spend in isolation negatively affects how they communicate regardless of modern technology encouraging their relationships in a more creative way.
8
band
We always say that there is a generation gap and there always will be. What causes generation gap? Is there no way to strike a balance in the relations between two generations?
A persistent issue in the modern era is the widening disparity between generations, which could be significantly mitigated by implementing the following remedies. This essay will explore the underlying reasons for the generation gap widening and suggest some optimal solutions to balance relations between the two generations.
8
band
Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree and disagree?
In today's world, there is ongoing debate about how best to punish people who break the law. Some opine that certain prisoners should engage in civic duty rather than go to jail. I completely agree with this viewpoint because it provides them with community engagement and allows them to change their behaviour.

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Your opinion

Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline is the responsibility of teachers while other think that this is the role of parents. In this essay I will discuss both the viewpoints and share my opinion.

Some people say that travel helps us to appreciate other cultures. How true is this statement? Do you think that people who travel a lot appreciate other cultures more than those who stay at home?

It is common nowadays for each member of family to have their own peace of modern technology. Some people think that this will lead to a break down in the family relationships and communication to what extent do you agree or disagree.

We always say that there is a generation gap and there always will be. What causes generation gap? Is there no way to strike a balance in the relations between two generations?

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree and disagree?