The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words.
Child obesity is a challenging dilemma in the modern world these days, especially in
western
society, where the proportion of obese Capitalize word
Western
children
has grown by almost 20% in the Use synonyms
last
decade. Linking Words
This
essay will elaborate on several main culprits of Linking Words
this
issue and propose some outcomes of Linking Words
this
problem.
There are various factors leading to the grounds of Linking Words
the
rising in number of obese Correct article usage
apply
children
. First of all, the diet of kids is mostly ignored by their parents. Use synonyms
This
is Linking Words
due to
Linking Words
the
ignorance about the essential substances that are needed for the growth of Correct article usage
apply
children
and bad foods harming their kids. Use synonyms
Therefore
, harmful meals, Linking Words
such
as ready-made meals, which are a quick and easy option for many parents, are usually fed to Linking Words
children
, leading to detrimental matter entering the body. Another reason for the large number of obese Use synonyms
children
is the numerous advertisements. Use synonyms
For instance
, more and more Linking Words
colorful
advertisements about fast food brands like Pizza Hut or McDonald’s appear on every device, attracting Change the spelling
colourful
children
to eat fast food.
The effects of Use synonyms
this
have been and will continue to be very serious. Linking Words
Firstly
, Linking Words
children
with obesity tend to have more diseases than normal Use synonyms
children
, especially cancer. Use synonyms
In addition
, cancer is a very dangerous health problem, which may make the Linking Words
children
stay in the hospital forever. Not only that, overweight Use synonyms
children
often experience bullying from other kids because of the difference in body size. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
according to
a survey in 2022, among 100 students in a high school, more than 30% of them have discriminated against obese people. Linking Words
This
can damage obese Linking Words
children
’s mental health and make them feel unconfident whenever they go out.
In conclusion, it is evident that there are several causes of Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
obesity Correct determiner usage
apply
Change preposition
among
amongst
Change preposition
among
children
Use synonyms
,
and a variety of negative effects. Society must propose methods to end Remove the comma
apply
this
issue.Linking Words
Submitted by khoianh2404 on
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task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively, covering both causes and effects clearly. However, your essay could benefit from a more in-depth analysis and more detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are generally well-organized and logically structured. To improve, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to enhance the flow of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clear and concise, fulfilling their roles well. However, you could strengthen your conclusion by suggesting specific methods society could use to address childhood obesity.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, discussing both causes and effects in a balanced manner.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction gives a good overview of the topic, and your conclusion successfully summarizes the main points of your essay.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to support your points, which enhances the credibility and persuasiveness of your argument.
Your opinion
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