People continue to recommit crimes even after being penalized for their wrongdoings. Why do you think this happens? How can crimes be stopped?
It is becoming a trend where
,
criminals commit repeated Remove the comma
apply
felony
despite being punished in the past. There are Fix the agreement mistake
felonies
plathora
of reasons contributing to Correct your spelling
plethora
this
behaviour such
as depression, unemployment, etc,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
Government
and other Health Institutes should come forward and aid Correct article usage
The government
people
with criminal past
to overcome their bad attitude towards society.
Fix the agreement mistake
pasts
To begin
with, all are not born criminals, circumstances and situations push people
to indulge in wrong behaviour. It is, either because of their family upbringing or freinds
circle that triggers them to commit assaults. Correct your spelling
friends
For example
, a child brought up in poverty who has no access to proper education, end
up being unemployed. In order to overcome his hunger, he starts pickpocketing. Eventually, Small crime leads to bigger ones in the future. Correct subject-verb agreement
ends
Similary
, bad Correct your spelling
Similarly
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
also
attract people
to endorse bad behaviour. To illustrate, it is
recently reported by the Times of India that, more college students are getting involved in Wrong verb form
was
drug
dealing business than ever before. Correct article usage
the drug
This
is solely because they have a tight network between them.
Even after, getting caught by the cops and after serving their time in the
Jail, they tend to commit Correct article usage
apply
offense
repeatedly becauseFix the agreement mistake
offenses
,
there is no respect for them in society post their release from prison. Once a felony, Remove the comma
apply
alway
a felony and Correct your spelling
always
people
loose
trust Correct your spelling
lose
on
these individuals and are reluctant to give them a second opportunity. Change preposition
in
Thus
, pushing them into depression which in turn, triggers them to commit crime
again.
Having said that, I am of the opinion thatFix the agreement mistake
crimes
, Government
should create more job opportunities for them and conduct several seminars on how to become Correct your spelling
the government
a good citizens
. Correct the article-noun agreement
good citizens
a good citizen
In addition
, Medical Institutes and Mental Wellness Centers should come forward and give them free counciling
to overcome the aversion they have towards our society.
Correct your spelling
counselling
Overall
, the issue can be handled easily by partnering with the right professionals at the right time. I am very positive that we, as a community
can definitely downsize the crime rate and create Add the comma(s)
community,
harmonious
living environment .Add an article
a harmonious
Submitted by u.umayal92 on
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grammar spelling
There are some grammar and spelling errors that affect the readability of the essay. For instance, 'plathora' should be 'plethora,' 'freinds' should be 'friends,' and 'counciling' should be 'counseling.' Make sure to proofread your work to minimize these errors.
introduction
The introduction is clear but could be more specific in stating the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This will provide the reader with a better roadmap of what to expect.
examples details
The essay could benefit from examples that are more varied and detailed. For instance, instead of just mentioning drug dealing, you could explain the broader societal impacts of such criminal activities.
sentence structure
Some sentences are a bit long and could be broken down for better readability. For example, 'Similary, bad company also attract people...' could be split into more digestible parts.
task response
The essay effectively addresses the issue of recidivism and offers specific suggestions on how the government and health institutes can aid in reducing crime rates.
coherence
You have a logical flow in your essay, moving from the causes of repeated crime to the possible solutions.
conclusion
Your conclusion is optimistic and ties back well to your argument, reinforcing the possibility of reducing crime through collaborative efforts.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.