IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this?

#countries #quality #air #water #industry #construction #measures
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It is undeniable that developments of industrial estates and construction sites in several countries have environmental impacts on society, especially housing near those premises.
Consequently
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, the quality of air and
water
Use synonyms
 tends to decrease.
This
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 essay will suggest policies that could be taken to solve those issues.
First,
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the businesses must design and implement their
water
Use synonyms
 treatment systems which can effectively examine the quality of
water
Use synonyms
 before it is released from the premises.
Additionally
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, there should be random checks by the authorised persons to ensure that wasted
water
Use synonyms
 doesn’t leak from the system.
Second,
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the industry screening process should be considered during the construction approval request. To give a clear example, operation plans and the expected amount of greenhouse gas emissions should be submitted to the government so they can consider the appropriateness of the businesses and the environment nearby.
For example
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, metal manufacturing releases polluted gas almost the whole day, so
this
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 is one of the industries which should not be located in the community area.
Third,
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lawmakers should propose regulations which define penalties for those who don’t comply with the law.
Also
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, there should be a specific team who is responsible for monitoring and auditing the businesses.
For instance
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, if the factory releases unfiltered
water
Use synonyms
 into rivers, they will be subject to fines.
To sum up
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, there are several ways to control the quality of
water
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 and air in risky areas
such
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 as industrial estates and construction sites. The mandatory
water
Use synonyms
 treatment systems, business screening and regulation sets are beneficial for environmental control.
Submitted by Punpun on

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task response
While the essay provides a strong response to the task and covers several key measures that can be implemented, expanding on each measure with more detailed examples and explanations could enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness.
coherence
To improve coherence, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly. This can help in making the essay flow better.
coherence
The essay has a clear and structured introduction and conclusion which effectively frame the discussion.
task response
The essay addresses the task prompt comprehensively, providing relevant measures to improve air and water quality, such as water treatment systems, industry screening processes, and regulations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pollution control regulations
  • emissions
  • discharges
  • green technology incentives
  • environmentally friendly practices
  • renewable energy sources
  • sustainable materials
  • waste management policies
  • recycling processes
  • environmental monitoring
  • compliance with environmental standards
  • public awareness campaigns
  • environmental protection
  • infrastructure upgrades
  • modern building techniques
  • international environmental organizations
  • air and water quality management
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