It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is neccesary to help them learn this distinction. To what extend do you agree or disagree? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

There is an opinion that it is quite vital to teach
children
how to discern good and bad at an early age. As a matter of fact, the most effective way to teach them
that is
to use a
punishment
system.
This
essay agrees with
such
a belief and deems that
punishment
should be taken in the framework since violence, sometimes, does not have the right clout on
children
at all. It is quite conventional that
children
should learn to distinguish right from wrong when they can be identified as infants.
Children
easily learn new things and it is essential to teach them in an appropriate manner how to be members of society in the future. The recent research provided by a
scientist
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
group called "Society.Future" indicates that in the early
1990s
Add a comma
1990s,
show examples
the number of crimes committed by
children
was three times higher than in 2020 when
such
way
Correct article usage
a way
show examples
of parenting became widely used. There is no doubt that sometimes
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good parenting often includes
punishment
. It helps to encourage
children
to behave in a more appropriate way.
Nonetheless
, it has to be mentioned that there is a line that must never be crossed,
such
as violence just to penalize a poor child. An inquiry that was provided in 2015 revealed that punishing
children
facilitates the parenting process as 9 out of 10
children
who were punished to a particular extent were well behaved.
However
, psychologists allege that penalizing
children
using force leads to devastating results in future. To infer, it is vital to teach the new generation how to be
well behaved
Add a hyphen
well-behaved
show examples
and to discern good from bad, and physical
punishment
can facilitate that process as long as it does not cross the line of heinous violence.
Submitted by katerina21.05 on

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coherence cohesion
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Proofread for minor errors in spelling (e.g. 'neccesary' should be 'necessary') and ensure consistency in tense usage.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the argument well.
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The essay attempts to address both parts of the question: the importance of teaching children right from wrong and the appropriate forms of punishment.
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There is a variety of sentence structures and a good range of vocabulary used.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • distinction between right and wrong
  • moral and ethical behavior
  • corporal punishment
  • time-outs
  • loss of privileges
  • accountability
  • proportionate punishment
  • reflect on actions
  • positive reinforcement
  • encourage good behavior
  • balanced approach
  • open communication
  • reasoning
  • consequences of actions
  • consistency
  • mixed messages
  • discipline
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