IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The process below shows how drinking water is made using solar power. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information given below.

#process #water #power #report #university #lecturer #information
Depicted in the flowchart of a report from the university is the process of drinking
water
 with solar panel
energy
.
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that the heat of the sun is the main source of operating electronic applications creating drinkable
water
.
In addition
, there are two exclusive stages including generating and filtering. The processes of drinkworthy
water
 begin when humans install photovoltaic power stations which consist of panels to leverage sun rays into
energy
.
This
 allows humans to control the flow of
energy
 by using solar remotes. After power
energy
 has been adequately, it creates electricity to turn on a
water
 pump which is responsible for absorbing
water
 from the groundwater level into the top of the filter process.
Finally
 in the filtering process,
while
water
 is examined by the filter machine to divide unhealthy substances
such
 as germs, bacteria, or viruses into waste, pure
water
 will be placed into a huge tank on a wooden platform. Once there,
water
 is ready to use and can be opened using a tap to distribute by moveable containers
for example
 vehicles.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task response
Your essay does a good job of describing the overall process. Consider structuring your introduction more clearly, directly stating that you will describe the process of producing drinking water using solar energy.
task response
Work on clarifying and expanding your main points for better comprehension. For instance, explain more about each stage and what happens within them. Include the capturing of solar energy, pumping water, and filtration.
coherence cohesion
You can improve logical cohesion by ensuring a clearer flow between points. Add more linking phrases to guide the reader through each stage smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the essay's paragraphs are well-structured. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of that section.
task response
Provide specific examples or data points where relevant to enhance support for your main points. For instance, details such as the quantity of water filtered or the type of filtration used can add depth to your explanation.
task response
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the process by breaking it down into different stages.
task response
There is an evident attempt to cover the entire process comprehensively, from solar energy capture to the distribution of clean water.
clarity
The descriptions of each process stage are mostly clear, with an effort to explain complexities like filtration.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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