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Writing Samples
Band 4

The two maps below show the changes that have taken place in the town of Westley since 1815. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps below show the changes that have taken place in the town of Westley since 1815. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The maps illustrate the development of Westley in two hundred years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the living standard in
this
Linking Words
area
Use synonyms
 has improved since more facilities
has
Change the verb form
have
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 been built since 1815. In 1815, Wesley was a residential
area
Use synonyms
 with not much of facilities. The majority of
south
Add an article
the south
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 side was felids and houses
whereas
Linking Words
 the woods, a church, Lord Wesley’s house and more housing to the north. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the transportation system, there was only one major road from Tinton village,
half way
Correct your spelling
halfway
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 through Westley, and ended in the fields.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if people wanted to visit Wesley from London, the only way was going through the Twine Toll Bridge by car. Nowadays, Wesley has changed a lot and
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 more developed.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
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 of the buildings have changed but the town hall and market square are still the same. There are more housings built. The woods have been cut down and replaced by a new housing estate.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a business and residential
area
Use synonyms
 has been built next to the Town Hall. The Lord Westley’s House has
replaced
Add a missing verb
been replaced
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 by The Red Lion and Lenton Hotel. The Coach Inn has been demolished and turned into a sports
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 and museum. A West Gate shopping
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 is opened
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
where the church used to be. In terms of transportation, a railroad system has been built and the road has been extended to the southernmost of the city where currently is a new shopping, business and residential
area
Use synonyms
. The city has become more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
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 with only one drawback of lacking greens since all the fields and woods
has be
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 removed.
Submitted by puimei822 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • residential areas
  • public facilities
  • road networks
  • railways
  • connectivity
  • housing expansion
  • commercial facilities
  • development
  • modifications
  • shopping centers
  • recreational areas
  • key changes
  • urbanization
  • historical comparison
  • municipal design
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