IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It has been suggested that cars and public transport should be banned from city centres and only bicycles be allowed instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It has been recommended to prohibit cars, buses and trains from city centres and to substitute them with bikes.
This
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 essay totally agrees with
this
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 statement because implementing
this
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 idea can reduce pollution, and increase the health levels of
people
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. On the one hand, using
bicycles
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 can decrease the pollution.
Bicycles
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, compared to cars and other vehicles are environmentally friendly and do not work by burning fuels and dangerous substances and
subsequently
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 do not release treacherous chemicals into the air,
therefore
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, enjoying cleaner weather will be possible and
people
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 will hopefully suffer less from pollution-related diseases like asthma.
For example
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, in Tehran the capital of Iran, in recent years, some centres have been opened, in which families can use
bicycles
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 for free by just giving their ID cards and
this
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 has helped a lot in
reduction
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the reduction
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 of pollutants in the air.
On the other hand
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, individuals
by
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apply
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using
bicycles
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 can maintain healthier lifestyles by increasing the amount of their daily activities. there are bigger muscles engaged in cycling rather than driving, and these large muscles like the glutes can burn a great number of calories,
therefore
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,
people
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 can lose weight and stay healthy.
For instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research has shown that
people
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 who engage in high-intensity activities like running and cycling can burn up to 20% more fat than
people
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 who have sedentary lives. In conclusion, there are lots of advantages
for
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to
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 cycling and it is a great idea to replace cars and other vehicles, used in public transportation with
bicycles
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.

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general
Your essay is well-structured and clearly addresses the prompt. However, there are minor grammatical issues that need attention. For example, 'there are larger muscles engaged' should start with a capital letter.
grammar
Be mindful of capitalization at the beginning of sentences. For example, change 'there are bigger muscles engaged' to 'There are bigger muscles engaged'.
content
While your essay is generally strong, consider providing a counterargument to display a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
content
Excellent use of specific examples to support your main points, such as the example from Tehran about bicycles reducing pollution.
coherence
Good logical structure with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task
Your essay completely addresses the task by discussing both pollution reduction and health benefits.
cohesion
Smooth transitions between points and ideas, making the essay easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • traffic
  • improve
  • viable
  • population
  • investment
  • infrastructure
  • policy
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