Nowadays,a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatment instead of visiting their usual doctor Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatment #doctor #development

There is a trend these days that

large

Change the article

a large

the large

show examples

number of unhealthy

people

prefer to use substitutional

medicines

and

treatement

Correct your spelling

treatment

instead

of going to their

doctor

. From my point of view,

this

development will have detrimental effects on

patients

and can lead to more serious

health

issues. On one hand, ignoring your

doctor

's prescription and following your own mind is quite hazardous for your

health

doctor's

Correct article usage

a doctor's

show examples

knowledge and treatment cannot

be competed

Change to the active voice

compete

show examples

with your own DIY tasks.

Moreover

Health

practitioners are

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

experts who spent years of their lives

Change preposition

apply

show examples

dealing with

patients

and

medicines

. They know how each medicine works inside the human body and what side effects it can cause to it.

Consequently

patients

who think they are smart enough to use any medicine they feel

right

Add a missing verb

is right

show examples

for their problem

ends

Correct subject-verb agreement

end

show examples

up having a greater

health

problem. A

real life

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

example is of 50 years old man

lived

Correct pronoun usage

who lived

show examples

in our neighbourhood.

Doctors

diagnosed him a cervical cancer and

instead

of following

doctor's

Correct article usage

the doctor's

show examples

prescription he started getting herbal

medicines

which

leads

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

him to death.

On the other hand

doctors

are charging

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

for one checkup which is not affordable for the majority of

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Therefore

, most

people

prefer to get a checkup from

the

Correct article usage

show examples

civil hospital where

doctors

don't pay much attention to the

patients

As a result

people

get disappointed with

ignorant

Correct article usage

the ignorant

show examples

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

health

practioners

Correct your spelling

practitioners

and try to find a substitute medicine or treatment that can be easily available on any

pharmcay

Correct your spelling

pharmacy

with

Change preposition

show examples

low

Correct article usage

a low

show examples

cost. To exemplify, there is

Remove the article

apply

show examples

proven research that 80% of

pain killers

Correct your spelling

painkillers

show examples

are getting sold out in pharmacies without

doctor's

Correct article usage

a doctor's

show examples

prescription.

This

shows that

people

run to pharmacies

instead

doctors

relief

Replace the word

relieve

show examples

the pain. To summarize,

Although

doctors

Change noun form

doctor's

doctors'

show examples

behaviour and increased financial instability

Change the verb form

are

show examples

causing the increased trend of using substitutional

medicines

and

treament

Correct your spelling

treatment

treatments

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

this

cannot ignore the detrimental effects of self-treatment without any background knowledge or experience. I don't support

this

negative advancement in peoples' behaviors which can cause risk to human

health

Submitted by zanu.ch666 on Sat May 18 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

The essay could benefit from a clearer logical progression. Transition words and phrases would improve the flow between ideas.

Task Response

There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect readability. Proofreading and a little refinement in sentence structure would be useful.

Task Response

The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and supports it with relevant examples, which is very good.

Coherence & Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are effectively written, setting the stage and summarizing the argument well.

Coherence & Cohesion

The main points are generally well-supported with examples, making the essay convincing and informative.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

336 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays,a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatment instead of visiting their usual doctor Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant experience from your own experience. Write at least 250 words.

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Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are so important to child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?