IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

manager has asked you to arrange a party for a colleague leaving the company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • suggest a suitable date and time for the party • recommend a venue • propose the food and entertainment options that should be available.

#manager #party #colleague #company #date #time #venue #food #entertainment #options
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter regarding some important information about the farewell which we are arranging for Mr. John. As we have discussed we will arrange it within
this
 week and I would like to add some suggestions, which I have got from
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 other employees. In order to make it convenient for everyone, it will be better to arrange the party on Friday evening. It’s been 2 days
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since I am trying to arrange everything .So, I have come up with the idea to have it arranged at The Floral Restaurant, which is nearest to our office.
Although
 the price is
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 high , other colleagues are contributing towards it.
Additionally
,
This
 restaurant is famous for
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
 food and expert chefs, specialised in Punjabi food and it will
worth
Add a missing verb
be worth
show examples
 every cent. Knowing the fact that the restaurant is busy on Fridays ,we can easily book a separate hall where singers sing different Indian music. I hope you will consider these options . Thank you for giving me the opportunity to arrange everything . I hope to hear from you soon. Yours Faithfully, Sumanpreet Kaur.
Submitted by sumanpreetkaur24042001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar and Punctuation
Make sure to proofread your letter for minor grammatical errors and punctuation. For example, 'it’s food' should be 'its food' and 'it will worth every cent' should be 'it will be worth every cent.'
Sentence Structure
Consider breaking down longer sentences into shorter ones for better readability. For instance, 'In order to make it convenient for everyone, it will be better to arrange the party on Friday evening' could be simpler and more direct.
Task Response
The letter addresses all parts of the task effectively, suggesting a date, time, venue, and entertainment options.
Tone
The tone of the letter is appropriate for the context and remains polite and respectful throughout.
Structure
The letter follows a logical structure, beginning with the introduction, followed by details, and concluding with a request for consideration.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: