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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunities to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

#students #university #study #country #opportunities #development #support #arguments #evidence
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In these
Change preposition
These
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 days, there is a growing trend among
students
 to pursue their studies outside their native land.
Although
, they may face loneliness at
their
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a
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 young age, studying abroad benefits them with
life
 experiences which would be advantageous in future. In my opinion, overseas education is an excellent learning opportunity, and it has more advantages than downsides. The greatest benefit of getting an international education is that
students
 tend to learn
life
 lessons which are inevitable in their future lives. The young people get to know about simple things
such
 as cooking and cleaning to highly important tasks
such
 as rent payment and finance management.
In addition
, most of them must go
for
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to
show examples
 work to meet their daily expenses and studies which helps them to learn other essential skills
such
 as time management.
For example
, one of my friends who migrated from India to Australia for a university degree is now an outstanding chef which he learned during his academic days
while
 he was living alone.
Therefore
, it is an undeniable fact that overseas learning will benefit
students
 to earn incredible
life
 experiences. The major challenge with international learning is the feeling of being alone which is an extremely difficult emotion to overcome, especially at a very young age. Being lived with loving parents and families around, the sudden transition to an unfamiliar place may create traumas among learners.
In addition
, they may
also
 find it difficult to find good friends as they are from different cultural backgrounds which can exacerbate their mental state.
For instance
, a recent survey shows that 20% of
students
 studying in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 under depression and have suicidal tendencies. In summary, loneliness is the most concerning factor
while
 studying away from home. It is becoming increasingly popular among young pupils to find an educational institution away from their homeland. Even though the challenges of being alone can be devastating the advantages of gaining knowledge about
life
 will be extremely useful in a futuristic perspective. In conclusion, the benefits of foreign learning experience surpass the drawbacks we discussed.
Submitted by gloriasherin on

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task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the task requirements by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. However, try to balance your paragraphs by adding more detailed examples to support your points about loneliness.
coherence cohesion
While your structure is clear and logical, consider breaking up your thoughts into more paragraphs to make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments. For instance, you could separate the discussion of life skills and work-related skills.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the context for the discussion and clearly states your opinion, making it easy for the reader to understand your position from the outset.
supported main points
You provide good examples to support your points, such as the example of your friend who became an outstanding chef, which adds credibility to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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