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Band 6.5

Some school leavers choose to travel or work for a year before going university. What might be the reasons for this? What are the disadvantages of this practice?

#school #leavers #travel #work #year #university #practice
In some countries, it is common for students to take a
year
 off after completing secondary school, usually to work or travel, before commencing their studies at
university
.
This
 essay will explore the main reasons for taking a gap
year
,
as well as
 the potential drawbacks of
this
 practice. The reasons for taking a
year
 off are multiple. Some take a gap
year
 to go travelling, exploring other countries, learning new languages, or volunteering for good causes. Others seek to explore their future career paths through internships and work experience programmes before committing to studying for a certain degree. Whichever way young people choose to spend
this
year
, in my opinion, their greatest motivation is a desire to learn more about themselves, their interests and aspirations. Despite these valid reasons, delaying
university
 studies has some downsides. Travelling for a long period of time or working at
this
 relatively young age may be stressful. Some individuals may
also
 feel left behind when they see all their friends going to
university
 and graduating one
year
 earlier.
This
 emotional stress may be
further
 exaggerated by the financial burden of travelling or volunteering without pay for an extra
year
. Eventually, once the gap
year
 is over, young people may discover that their study skills have diminished over time and returning to full-time education may be even harder.
To conclude
, some school leavers delay going to
university
 in order to discover themselves, explore future career paths and gain useful skills through work or travel.
However
, they are
also
 risking encountering more stress and expenses than their peers who progress straight to their bachelor’s programmes.
Submitted by puimei822 on

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task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task prompt, addressing both reasons for taking a gap year and its disadvantages. However, providing more specific examples would strengthen the task response further.
task achievement
Try to include personal anecdotes or real-life examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more tangible and persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with the repeated use of 'eventually' in the last body paragraph. Varying your transitions can enhance the flow and readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported with logical arguments and explanations.
task achievement
The ideas are clearly articulated and comprehensive, covering different facets of the topic effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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