IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that in the future, environmental problems will mean that we are unable to live on this planet. In order to survive, the human species will need to find another planet that can support life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In the 21st century, the environmental pollution is ever-increasing. Some people hold the view that experts need to find some other planets that can support life for humans predicting challenges to live on the Earth in future if
such
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 a problem happens continuously. I totally disagree with that argument.
To begin
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 with, it should be understood that exploring new planets will be costly.
For instance
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, finding a new environment means we have to sacrifice all our money for that but we do not know the amount exactly because space exploration is an unpredictable work.
Consequently
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, countries will run out of their treasures and individuals will have to face severe consequences
such
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 as poverty.
This
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 shows that it is not an easy goal to move people into another space.
Secondly
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, the required time to achieve
this
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 target is unknown.
Therefore
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, it will lead to more complicated situations because pollution is increasing day by day.
For example
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, It is possible that we succeed in finding
such
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 planets, yet humans may come to extinction at that time. Other than that, wildlife
also
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 should be there to maintain our lives. Finding a way to carry them is another major problem. Considering these factors, it can be noted that discovering alternative worlds is only a time-consuming task. In conclusion, it has to be agreed that locating other spaces means not only a waste of money but
also
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 time. Indeed, we cannot expect success of
such
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 explorations.
Hence
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, it is wise to use prevailing technology to find solutions to mitigate and reduce the environmental impacts that we are currently facing.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points more concretely. This will help strengthen your argument and provide clearer support for your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While your structure is generally logical, a few more linking phrases or sentences could enhance the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and well-organized structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main argument effectively.
supported main points
Your main points are adequately supported, making your argument persuasive and coherent.
task achievement
You have clearly addressed the essay prompt and provided a thoughtful response, which indicates a good understanding of the task requirements.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable development
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity loss
  • climate change
  • greenhouse gases
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitable planets
  • space colonization
  • terraforming
  • ethical dilemmas
  • resource allocation
  • technological advancements
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