IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows the changes, which took place in a coastal area called Pentland from 1950 to 2007. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the diagrams below.

The diagram below shows the changes, which took place in a coastal area called Pentland from 1950 to 2007. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the diagrams below.
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The maps illustrate
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the development in Pentland which is
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
 of coastal zone between 1950
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there are many establishment buildings. Looking in more detail, in 1950, from
southern
Correct article usage
the southern
show examples
 of the picture, there was a road that connected with the
sea
Use synonyms
. At the beginning of the road,
both
Change preposition
on both
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right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 and left
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
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, there was a space for cultivating some grasses.
Next,
Linking Words
walking forward, the car park was situated to the east, meanwhile the opposite
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
location
Add an article
the location
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 for some industrial buildings with the
sea
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was located in the middle. Meanwhile, in 2007, from
southern
Correct article usage
the southern
show examples
 of the map, there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a road to link to the
sea
Use synonyms
. In the right corner, the grassland is diminished and replaced by a lot of houses which are erected for people
and
Correct word choice
apply
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followed by the existence of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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shops. In the opposite of
these housing area
Change the determiner
this housing area
these housing areas
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, the cinema is built near
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
another shop area. The previous car park is relocated to western and equipped by multi-storey feature.
Industrial
Add an article
The industrial
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 area is replaced by entertainment buildings
such
Linking Words
 as a park and swimming pool.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the opposite, several new apartments are established and the
sea
Use synonyms
 is filled by yacht marine zone

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sea with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • coastal area
  • transformation
  • landscape
  • land use
  • infrastructure
  • environmental modifications
  • residential development
  • urban living spaces
  • commercial areas
  • recreational facilities
  • economic landscape
  • green spaces
  • natural habitats
  • urban expansion
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