In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher among other age groups.What are causes of this problem and what can bevdone to solve it ?

#countries #crime #rates #teenagers #age #groups #bevdone

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There are widely differing views on the issue of whether illegal act rates among youngsters are higher than other age groups or not.In

following

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the following

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essay,I aim to identify the source of

this

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problem

as well as

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some viable

solution

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solutions

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to it. The first reason is connected with the family.

This

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may be because of the fact that many progenitors in cities now

both

Add a missing verb

have both

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Change preposition

apply

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parents work around the clock ,they do not give any support when needed.It is

irrefutable

Correct article usage

an irrefutable

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fact that teenagers grow up day-to-day,their close persons can not care or they do not balance toddlers' behaviour.

However

Linking Words

,they are not able to teach that

felony

Correct article usage

a felony

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precariously

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a precariously

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procedure and they can not achieve more success

with

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the

honestly

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honest

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way.Another factor is

increasing

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the increasing

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levels of poverty around the world.

Nevertheless

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,destitute juniors are poorer day by day and they are sensed like a privation of money ,they join unlawful methods.

On the other hand

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,there are ways to tackle

such

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problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

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This

Linking Words

aproach

Correct your spelling

approach

has surely helped and would certainly even

further

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too, if governments will impose strict punishment.Despite of

population

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the population

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are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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united

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this

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at this

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point

and

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apply

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their progenies are frightened by the severe sanctions .Guardians

also

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have to take more responsibility for their

kiddies

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kiddie's

kiddies'

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action

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actions

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. To sum it up,

such

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kind of

progmatic

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pragmatic

programmatic

and

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apply

show examples

sanguine approach towards crime degrees can measure in recent day,maybe it is

availabe

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available

to solve

this

Linking Words

trouble.

Submitted by Shaxnoza on Sat May 18 2024

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task achievement

The essay provides a reasonable response to the task but could benefit from more detailed and specific examples. Adding more concrete instances can make your points stronger and more convincing, such as specific statistics or real-life cases of teenage crime.

coherence cohesion

There needs to be a clearer line of argument throughout the essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main point that ties back to the overall argument. Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one point to the next. Using transition words like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Finally' can help in achieving this.

grammar

Be mindful of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Reading your essay aloud or having someone else review it can help identify areas that sound unnatural. Avoid overly complex sentences when simpler ones can convey the idea more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Reorganize the essay to maintain a clear structure. Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines what you will discuss, and your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives it structure and helps to frame the discussion.

task achievement

There is an attempt to discuss both causes and solutions to the problem, which shows a comprehensive approach to answering the question.

vocabulary

Your effort to use some advanced vocabulary is commendable. Words like 'irrefutable,' 'precariously,' and 'destitute' can enrich your essay when used correctly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

226 words

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In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher among other age groups.What are causes of this problem and what can bevdone to solve it ?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family members when they become physically, mentally and financially unable to look after themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Designer goods are becoming more and more popular. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects.

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group.some argue that peer pressure is important while others it has distinct disadvantages.do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages.