In this day and age,it is considered by a plethora of individuals that,adults had better follow the pattern of old people others consider that it is natural instinct for teenagers to challenge what older people say.This essay will outline both arguments,and then conclusion will be drawn.

In
this
day and age,it is considered by a plethora of individuals that,adults had better follow the pattern of old
people
others consider that it is
natural
Add an article
a natural
show examples
instinct for teenagers to challenge what older
people
say.
This
essay will outline both arguments,and
then
conclusion
Correct article usage
a conclusion
show examples
will be drawn.
To begin
with,students are to come behind older
people
's advice.
This
is because
,
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apply
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older
people
have
a
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apply
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plenty of
expriences
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experiences
experience
and they had better go behind challenges in advance to get the best of the
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
.If it were not for older
people
,they would not have
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been
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accompanied
with
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by
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high
exprience
Correct your spelling
experience
.
For instance
,
l
am to follow my
grandmothers'
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grandmother's
show examples
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
,
l
need to talk more and more.There is nothing better than following advice on a daily basis.
l
am to recommend to follow older
people
's
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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by virtue of others think
that is
natural
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a natural
the natural
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position for children to summons what they give
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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.
However
, they regard as older
people
have
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having
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the same conditions
with
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as
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themselves,and
this
is very status that teens are unlikely to
do
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apply
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follow their
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
.They do not obey
exellent
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excellent advice
advices
only to
get failed
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fail
show examples
at
same
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the same
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time.For the
soke
Correct your spelling
sake
of children's
achievment
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achievement
achievements
,many older generations are likely to give
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
for teenagers cannot meet with more obstacles in their life. In a nutshell,
l
am on the verge of following my
grandmothers'
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grandmother's
show examples
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
.Nowadays,kids are to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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follow their older close
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
so much so that they need to learn directions' meaning and they commence to do at the time.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
older humans pass life difficulties.
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

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task
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but they could be more developed to provide a complete response to the prompt.
coherence
The ideas presented in the essay are relevant, but they often lack clarity and coherence. This could be improved by organizing ideas into clear paragraphs and using more appropriate linking words.
task
There are some attempts to provide examples, but they could be more specific and relevant to support the main points effectively.
coherence
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect the clarity of the essay. Improving grammar and sentence structure will help convey ideas more effectively.
task
The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the task.
task
The writer makes an effort to provide examples and personal experiences to support their points, which is a positive aspect of task achievement.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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