(VMN)Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

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As excessive consuming fast

food

Use synonyms

is considered to adversely affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human health, whether

this

Linking Words

concern can be tackled by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

education

Use synonyms

is a recent

debation

Replace the word

debate

show examples

.From the author's

prospective

Correct your spelling

perspective

show examples

, the strength of educating is noticeable but not sufficient to limit the trouble,

due to

Linking Words

the individual's awareness and their harsh schedules.

Initially

Linking Words

education

Use synonyms

actually plays a vital role in informing what is beneficial or not in the learner's mind.

Change preposition

In Inparticularly

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Inparticularly

Correct your spelling

Particular

, being taught about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nutrition can act as a

prosecure

Correct your spelling

precaution

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy diets

as well as

Linking Words

avoiding

high-cholesterol

Correct your spelling

high cholesterol

show examples

fast

food

Use synonyms

, leading

Change preposition

to a

show examples

healthy lifestyle. In fact,

this

Linking Words

is usually seen in plenty of cooking classes or the nutrition lessons of many

well known

Add a hyphen

well-known

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companies.

Therefore

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

education

Use synonyms

is commonly thought

Change preposition

of as

show examples

an effective solution in terms of eating unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, only teaching is inadequate to entirely alleviate the problem. The actual root of

this

Linking Words

leans on people's awareness and their busy

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Without recognizing the real danger of junk

food

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such

Linking Words

as containing

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

proportion of protein and glucose, a person cannot stop consuming these hardly-resisted dishes, even

having

Change preposition

after having

show examples

a specialized and enthusiastic lessons

Correct the article-noun agreement

specialized and enthusiastic lessons

a specialized and enthusiastic lesson

show examples

about balancing the diet. It

also

Linking Words

derives from the fact of their fast-paced life, when the time and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money from work

Change the verb form

are

show examples

highly prioritized,

while

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consumption is relatively underestimated, in which people choose fast

food

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to eat because of its low price and convenience. Take America as a prime example, where a variety of fast

food

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stores

are appeared

Change to the active voice

appear

have appeared

show examples

with the ability to immediately serve the meal right on the car after a few minutes

ordering

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of ordering

show examples

This

Linking Words

hence

Linking Words

, cannot be dealt with only

teaching

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by teaching

show examples

the flaws of junk

food

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but

also

Linking Words

from

Change preposition

show examples

other practical actions. Taxing on junk

food

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some

Correct determiner usage

one

show examples

suggested

Add an article

the suggested

show examples

options that can partly restrict the number of consumers. Still, another way highly recommended is

improve

Fix the infinitive

to improve

show examples

its nutritional quality by selling a balanced set of

meal

Fix the agreement mistake

meals

show examples

, or incline towards vegetarian

food

Use synonyms

that

Linking Words

is tasted

Wrong verb form

tastes

show examples

like meat. In Japan,

for instance

Linking Words

, a suitable set of rice, or Bento, is usually sold for consumers in convenience stores, which still contains enough energy and vital compounds needed for

body

Add an article

the body

show examples

To sum up

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, as it is hard to fully realize the disadvantages of fast-consumed dishes from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

education

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

seems not to be a suitable solution.Following

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

should be the enhancement in the quality and convenience of the served

food

Use synonyms

[email protected]Sat May 18 2024

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General

The essay starts with a clear introduction and presents both viewpoints, but the introduction could be more concise and direct. Consider refining it for better clarity.

General

Some passages are difficult to understand due to incorrect word usage and grammatical errors. Work on sentence structure and word choice to improve overall readability.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay could benefit from clearer transitions between points. Use connecting words and phrases to ensure smooth flow and coherence.

Task Achievement

Expand on the counterarguments to strengthen your discussion. Addressing both views in more depth will make your argument more balanced and comprehensive.

Task Achievement

Ensure that all your examples are clearly linked to your main points and arguments. While examples from America and Japan are relevant, tie them more explicitly to the points you're making.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses the prompt and discusses both viewpoints on the issue of junk food consumption and education.

Task Achievement

Specific examples from real-world contexts (America and Japan) are used to support main points, which enhances the relevance of the arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

398 words

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(VMN)Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions?

Some people think that only way to judge someone's success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of success of a business? In what other ways could success in a business be measured?

Some people feel that government should take a large proportion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and school. Other feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of difficulties of living in city. How can government make urban life better for everyone?

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?