(VMN)Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.
As excessive consuming fast
food
is considered to adversely affect to
Change preposition
apply
the
human health, whether Correct article usage
apply
this
concern can be tackled by the
Correct article usage
apply
education
is a recent debation
.From the author's Replace the word
debate
prospective
, the strength of educating is noticeable but not sufficient to limit the trouble, Correct your spelling
perspective
due to
the individual's awareness and their harsh schedules.
Initially
, education
actually plays a vital role in informing what is beneficial or not in the learner's mind. Change preposition
In Inparticularly
Inparticularly
, being taught about Correct your spelling
Particular
the
nutrition can act as a Correct article usage
apply
prosecure
to Correct your spelling
precaution
the
healthy diets Correct article usage
apply
as well as
avoiding high-cholesterol
fast Correct your spelling
high cholesterol
food
, leading a
healthy lifestyle. In fact, Change preposition
to a
this
is usually seen in plenty of cooking classes or the nutrition lessons of many well known
companies.Add a hyphen
well-known
Therefore
, the
Correct article usage
apply
education
is commonly thought as
an effective solution in terms of eating unhealthy Change preposition
of as
food
.
However
, only teaching is inadequate to entirely alleviate the problem. The actual root of this
leans on people's awareness and their busy life
. Without recognizing the real danger of junk Fix the agreement mistake
lives
food
such
as containing high
proportion of protein and glucose, a person cannot stop consuming these hardly-resisted dishes, even Add an article
a high
having
Change preposition
after having
a specialized and enthusiastic lessons
about balancing the diet. It Correct the article-noun agreement
specialized and enthusiastic lessons
a specialized and enthusiastic lesson
also
derives from the fact of their fast-paced life, when the time and the
money from work Correct article usage
apply
is
highly prioritized, Change the verb form
are
while
the
consumption is relatively underestimated, in which people choose fast Correct article usage
apply
food
to eat because of its low price and convenience. Take America as a prime example, where a variety of fast food
stores are appeared
with the ability to immediately serve the meal right on the car after a few minutes Change to the active voice
appear
have appeared
ordering
.
Change preposition
of ordering
This
, hence
, cannot be dealt with only teaching
the flaws of junk Change preposition
by teaching
food
but also
from
other practical actions. Taxing on junk Change preposition
by
food
is some
of Correct determiner usage
one
suggested
options that can partly restrict the number of consumers. Still, another way highly recommended is Add an article
the suggested
improve
its nutritional quality by selling a balanced set of Fix the infinitive
to improve
meal
, or incline towards vegetarian Fix the agreement mistake
meals
food
that
is tasted
like meat. In Japan, Wrong verb form
tastes
for instance
, a suitable set of rice, or Bento, is usually sold for consumers in convenience stores, which still contains enough energy and vital compounds needed for body
.
Add an article
the body
To sum up
, as it is hard to fully realize the disadvantages of fast-consumed dishes from the
Correct article usage
apply
education
, this
seems not to be a suitable solution.Following with
Change preposition
apply
this
should be the enhancement in the quality and convenience of the served food
.Submitted by [email protected]
on
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General
The essay starts with a clear introduction and presents both viewpoints, but the introduction could be more concise and direct. Consider refining it for better clarity.
General
Some passages are difficult to understand due to incorrect word usage and grammatical errors. Work on sentence structure and word choice to improve overall readability.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay could benefit from clearer transitions between points. Use connecting words and phrases to ensure smooth flow and coherence.
Task Achievement
Expand on the counterarguments to strengthen your discussion. Addressing both views in more depth will make your argument more balanced and comprehensive.
Task Achievement
Ensure that all your examples are clearly linked to your main points and arguments. While examples from America and Japan are relevant, tie them more explicitly to the points you're making.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and discusses both viewpoints on the issue of junk food consumption and education.
Task Achievement
Specific examples from real-world contexts (America and Japan) are used to support main points, which enhances the relevance of the arguments.
Your opinion
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