Several people believe that having a set retirement age for all workers,regardless of they are not able to work. Although there are valid arguments to the contrary,if this essay l will argue that it is retirement can give for workers when they unable to work towards their jobs' types.There are two principal reasons for this.
Several
people
believe that having a set retirement
age
for all workers
,regardless of they
are not able to Correct word choice
whether they
work
. Although
there are valid arguments to the contrary,if
Change preposition
in
this
essay l will argue that it is retirement
can give for workers
when they unable to work
towards their jobs' types.There are two principal reasons for this
.
I partly disagree that elderly people
are likely to work
until the
Correct article usage
apply
retirement
age
.This
is because ,older people
cannot work
for company
and they unable Add an article
the company
a company
Fix the infinitive
to recive
recive
a pension at an earlier Correct your spelling
receive
age
,as result
of which is Correct article usage
a result
companys'
Correct your spelling
companies'
work
quality can decrease day by day.This
is very hard-working that affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
workers
' health and physically
activity. Employments have Change the word
physical
a
Correct article usage
apply
difficulty
jobs which Replace the word
difficult
works
' form Correct subject-verb agreement
work
an
divide various Change the article
a
grade
Change the noun form
grades
such
as miners,oilman
and builders.Fix the agreement mistake
oilmen
For instance
,elderly workers
have a health problems
during their Correct the article-noun agreement
health problems
a health problem
life styles
.Correct your spelling
lifestyles
Nevertheless
,they have
Add a missing verb
do have
not
opportunity Correct your spelling
no
that
they Correct pronoun usage
apply
recive
a pension Correct your spelling
receive
on
their Change preposition
for
situatations
at the moment.They had better Correct your spelling
situations
situation
work
before retirement
age
.If they were not for work
that
they would not have found any Correct pronoun usage
apply
works
that suits Fix the agreement mistake
work
for
their ages.
Change preposition
apply
On the other hand
,goverments
can impose more rules about Correct your spelling
governments
government
retirement
Correct article usage
the retirement
age
for everybody.l partly agree that workers
can recive
a pension at an earlier Correct your spelling
receive
age
.There is nothing better than retiring eralier
,Correct your spelling
earlier
besides
,workers
have just alter
their minds about Change the verb form
altered
retirement
.For example
,workers
have a health problems
that they have Correct the article-noun agreement
health problems
a health problem
chance
to recover themselves.If they had Correct article usage
a chance
retirement
choices,they would enhance working qualties
.Older Correct your spelling
qualities
people
can step down their
Change preposition
from their
work
and younger work
seats expand more and more.
In a nutshell,l strongly believe that retirement
earlier age
for employers are
more Correct subject-verb agreement
is
benefical
than they unable to Correct your spelling
beneficial
work
till sixty five
years by virtue Add a hyphen
sixty-five
of
it makes Change preposition
apply
people
healthy and extend
Correct subject-verb agreement
extends
work
seats for younger people
.Submitted by Shaxnoza on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This helps guide the reader and provides a roadmap for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain logical coherence within and between paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas and ensure a smooth flow of information.
task achievement
Be sure to support your arguments with relevant and specific examples, enhancing the evidence and credibility of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea. This supports a coherent structure and makes your argument easier to follow.
task achievement
Work on avoiding grammatical errors and improving sentence structure to enhance clarity and readability.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
task achievement
You make some good points regarding how early retirement can benefit both workers and the job market.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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