IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of drierless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages.

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers #drierless
Cutting-edge technologies have led to the creation of driverless vehicles and during the
last
decades
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decades,
show examples
 these
innovatives
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innovative
 tools have become widely popular
due to
 their positive impacts
in
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on
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 societies. From my perspective, I consider that the benefits
oustand
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the stumbling blocks, and in
this
 essay, I will explain my reasons in detail.
To begin
 with, it is well-known that
people
 with motor skills impairments depend on others to commute,
thus
 these technologies create inclusive policies where
people
 with these
type
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types
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 of conditions
could
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can
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 transport themselves freely.
This
 means that if those strategies are implemented, the
co-dependece
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co-dependence
co-dependency
, at least to perform
this
 specific task, will plummet.
For example
, in The United
Stated
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States
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, since the usage of those vehicles
have
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has
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 been popularized, almost 50% of
people
 with any disability have been able to 'drive' to their
works
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work
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.
Consequenly
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Consequently
, their quality of life
have
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has
show examples
 improved
in
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by
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 almost 20% due
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 feelings of freedom and inclusion.
Additionally
, it has been proved that most traffic accidents are owing to human errors
such
 as lack of concentration, sleeping, strong emotions or feelings that could cloud
the
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apply
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racional
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rational
 thinking, etc.
Besides
,
although
 many laws have been imposed, there are many
people
that
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who
show examples
 still drive under the effect of toxic substances
as well
as
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and
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 many others disrespect the maximum speed limit.
As a consequence
 of
this
, the most common cause of death worldwide is because of
the
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apply
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traffic accidents, even more than all chronic diseases.
Then
, machines have been regulated in order to follow the rules and drivers could do many other activities
while
their
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they
show examples
 reach their destination.
To sum up
, technological tools have been created to facilitate daily activities in humankind,
hence
, cars in which
a
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apply
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drivers are not required should be leveraged in order to avoid traffic crashes
due to
 human failures.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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Grammar and Spelling
Make sure to correct minor grammar and spelling errors, such as 'oustand' to 'outstand' and 'co-dependece' to 'co-dependence.' These small mistakes can detract from the overall quality of your writing.
Task Achievement
Try to provide a more detailed balance of perspectives. While your essay focuses primarily on the advantages, briefly discussing the disadvantages can show a more thorough analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen your introduction by briefly mentioning the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs. This will provide a clear roadmap for the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a smooth transition between points. For example, use transitional words or phrases to better connect the paragraphs, such as 'Moreover' or 'Furthermore' for adding information and 'On the other hand' for contrasting points.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the data from the United States, which support your argument well.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that ties everything together neatly.
Task Achievement
You addressed the question directly and provided a clear stance, supported by logical reasoning and evidence.
Content
The argument about driverless vehicles improving the quality of life for people with disabilities is a strong and persuasive point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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