IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same to periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same to periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #show #results #surveys #visit #periods #summarise #information #features #comparisons
the given
Verb problem
The
show examples
 pie charts illustrate the aftermath of surveys among the guests. Meanwhile, it is a comparison between the former and the later
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 as
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 revolutionized.
Overall
, before
transformation
Add a comma
transformation,
show examples
people
 who
dissatisfied
Add a missing verb
were dissatisfied
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a lion's share.
Although
 no response from visitors
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 constant.
however
, After changes more
people
 are very satisfied. Looking
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the pie charts, it is crystal clear that previously the majority of
people
dissatisfied
Add a missing verb
were dissatisfied
show examples
 40% and later the ratio declined to 15%.
Wherease
Correct your spelling
Whereas
, very satisfied surged to double 35% as in the past it stood
15
Change preposition
at 15
show examples
% and no response from
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
was recorded
Change the verb form
has recorded
show examples
Change preposition
at a
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same percentile
5
Change preposition
of 5
show examples
% in both years. Moving towards the rest of the information,
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
 was 30% before
transform
Change the verb form
transforming
show examples
 the museum as it climbed
dramtically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 to 10%.
People
 who
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 very dissatisfied
10
Add a missing verb
were 10
show examples
% and after some development it
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 to half.
Submitted by seharfazal9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: