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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart gives employment and education statistics for eight European countries in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart gives employment and education statistics for eight European countries in 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table illustrates the proportion of
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
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 who have a job and their average income,
along with
Linking Words
 the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 with an undergraduate degree in eight counties in Europe in 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that there is a positive relationship between the ratio of college graduates, and average wage. The more educated
people
Use synonyms
 a country
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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, the more job opportunities and
salary their
Replace the word
salaries
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people
Use synonyms
 have. First of all, these eight countries have similar employment rates which between 50.8%, the lowest, in Greece and 72.7%, the highest, in Norway.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 there had different
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 of education and average income levels. Norway (43.2%), the United Kingdom (41.6%) and Luxembourg (41.1%) have the largest proportion of
high
Replace the word
highly
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 educated
people
Use synonyms
 in their countries. Four out of ten
people
Use synonyms
 there owned a
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
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 degree. Since
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
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 there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 more educated, the employment rates and their average salary were
also
Linking Words
 the highest. Portugal (22.9%), Bulgaria (27.5%) and Greece (29.1%) have the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 ratio of workers with higher education.
As a result
Linking Words
, their average incomes were the lowest.
Bulgarian's
Change noun form
Bulgarian
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 wages were less than 10% of
Norway
Change noun form
Norway's
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 workers.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rate
  • education level
  • percentage
  • statistics
  • comparison
  • correlation
  • trend
  • pattern
  • outlier
  • figure
  • summarize
  • highlight
  • report
  • significant
  • relevant
  • overview
  • analyse
  • data
  • implication
  • demographic
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