You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
#minutes #people #governments #access #people’s #phone #records #messages #safety #information #permission
In developed countries, almost everyone owns a mobile
phone
or two. Some people think that the government should monitor ones
Change noun form
one's
phone
's calling and texting records regularly. Others argue that without permission, this
approach is
violating individual's privacy. In Verb problem
violates
this
essay, I am going to discuss both these views and express my opinion.
Since the invention of smartphones, cell phones, nowadays, are not only a machine for dialling calls. People can use them to express ideas, share their daily lives and even commit crimes
. It has been shown that there is an increase
number of Replace the word
increased
crimes
related to the use of mobile phone
. Cyberbullying often happens which causes many losses of lives. If governments can monitor individuals' Fix the agreement mistake
phones
phone
records freely, crimes
and the lost
of lives can be stopped from happening.
Replace the word
loss
However
, people, like me, mainly communicate with others by messaging and, sometimes, will
text about secrets or private things. Indeed, if governments Verb problem
apply
have
Wrong verb form
had
the
full access Correct article usage
apply
of
my Change preposition
to
phone
freely, in my opinion, it is
like Wrong verb form
would be
I am
walking on the street naked all the time. In some countries, if there Verb problem
apply
is
Change the verb form
are
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
shown
that one is a suspect Wrong verb form
showing
to
Change preposition
in
law
violation, police can check one's Correct article usage
a law
phone
records after applying for a
permission from the court. In Remove the article
apply
this
way, which from my point of view is a better way, crimes
can be stopped and thus
, public privacy can also
be protected.
In conclusion, the increase of
Change preposition
in
the
mobile Correct article usage
apply
phone
usage has increased law violations. In order to protect citizens from being a victim of the crime and their privacy, I believe, getting a
court permission before accessing one's Remove the article
apply
phone
is the only balanced solution.Submitted by puimei822 on
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your main points, such as citing actual cases of cyberbullying or government policies.
task achievement
Ensure that you elaborate on each point thoroughly. Expanding on how government access can prevent crime versus how it infringes on privacy would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring each paragraph leads smoothly into the next. Using linking words and phrases can help with this.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's logical structure is good, but each idea could be explored more deeply to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and states your intention to discuss both viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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