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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The provided chart indicates different global sales of the
cell
Use synonyms
 phone brands from 2009 to 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
 ,
Samsung
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 and
Nokia
Use synonyms
 sell the most among 5 brands which are
Samsung
Use synonyms
, Apple,
Nokia
Use synonyms
, LG and ZTE.
Nokia
Use synonyms
 sold more
cell
Use synonyms
phones
Use synonyms
 than
Samsung
Use synonyms
 in 2009 and 2011 but
Samsung
Use synonyms
 exported more them than
Nokia
Use synonyms
 in 2013. Looking at the bar graph more closely,
Samsung
Use synonyms
 sold
cell
Use synonyms
phones
Use synonyms
 about 240
million
Use synonyms
 in 2009 and grew
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
gradually until 2013. On
Correct article usage
the contray
show examples
contray
Correct your spelling
contrary
,
Nokia
Use synonyms
 exported mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 accounted for 430
million
Use synonyms
 in 2009 and
420millons
Correct your spelling
420 million
 in 2011 and suddenly decreased
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 250millions in 2013. As indicated,
ZTE
Correct article usage
the ZTE
show examples
 brand sold
phones
Use synonyms
 evenly from 2009 to 2013 about 50
million
Use synonyms
.
Simillary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, Apple
also
Linking Words
 exported increasingly in the same period with 20
million
Use synonyms
 in 2009 and 150
million
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 in 2013. LG exported 110
millon
Correct your spelling
million
 of
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 in 2009 and slinked slightly
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for 80
millon
Correct your spelling
million
 in 2013.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cell, samsung, nokia, phones, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "indicates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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