Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest of our lives, while others believe that adult life brings more happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There has been a debate about whether
one
experiences the greatest happiness in their adulthood or the time through their teen brings about the
happier moments. In my opinion, the joyful time spent in teenage years is the best time of Correct article usage
apply
one
's life.
It is inevitable that adulthood has its own perks, as grown-ups are usually free from family and having
the financial capacity to support their own Wrong verb form
have
lives
. Many adults can afford to travel to their dream destinations, or finally
be able to land the prestigious jobs that are looked up to by others. Hence
, the potential happniness
each achievement could bring makes it Correct your spelling
happiness
seems
that those are the greatest times of their Correct subject-verb agreement
seem
lives
.
However
, as an adult, financial stress as well as
social expectations will always be on one
's shoulder, shadowing every moment in their lives
, reducing the joy in every experience. On the other hand
, teenagers are usually sealed from social stress regarding making ends meet by their family and also
the
society, allowing them to live Correct article usage
apply
a
more carefree Correct article usage
apply
lives
. They are allowed to fully immerse in the moments of their youth, without worrying about paying rents
or the next tax Fix the agreement mistake
rent
bills
.
Regardless of what the future may bring, Fix the agreement mistake
bill
teenage
period is always full of hope and positivity. The young individuals are energetic and Add an article
the teenage
embracing
life as they start experiencing new feelings and emotions. Many literatures have described young love to be the most memorable, and Wrong verb form
embrace
one
may kiss many other lovers through
their Change preposition
throughout
lives
, the first innocent kiss shared in their youth is always the happiest and unforgettable memory. As everything is so new and eye-opening, each event occurred
leaves a huge impact on the still naive minds.
In a nutshell, Wrong verb form
that occurs
although
it is true that adulthood brings more opportunities for greater experience, in term
of happiness, I believe people in their youth get the chance to cherish the purest form of joy and embrace Fix the agreement mistake
terms
lives
as their fullness.Submitted by kimtruong270192 on
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task achievement
Your task achievement is quite strong, as you provided a clear response to the prompt. However, make sure to balance the discussion points more evenly. The paragraph on adulthood could be expanded to include more specific details.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, consider adding more signposting words and phrases to improve the logical flow between and within paragraphs. This will make your arguments clearer and more connected.
task achievement
Develop your ideas with more relevant specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, provide concrete examples of teenage activities that are carefree versus specific adult responsibilities that cause stress.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is effective, summarizing your main points and reiterating your opinion. This is good practice and helps strengthen the essay's overall impact.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets up the debate clearly and states your opinion effectively. This is a strong start to your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion ties together the main points succinctly, which helps to reinforce your argument.
supported main points
You have a clear understanding of the differences between teenage and adult experiences, which shows in your discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.