These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development?
Almost
people
who continue Correct determiner usage
all people
work
overseas bring their family Fix the infinitive
to work
member
. In my opinion, Fix the agreement mistake
members
i
do believe that Change the capitalization
I
take
their spouse and children Wrong verb form
taking
to go
abroad has more advantages for their family development. There are several Verb problem
apply
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
,
Change preposition
for, better
better
education system to create Correct article usage
a better
great
design of thinking and Add an article
a great
learn
language and culture which impact Wrong verb form
learning
to
their networking.
Change preposition
apply
To begin
with, developed countries have a better education system rather than developing nations Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
to
their design of thinking. The Change preposition
apply
member
of Fix the agreement mistake
members
family
who study abroad Add an article
the family
especially
the children already continued school abroad, they will get another Add the comma(s)
, especially
get
different point of view to solve the problem from their study, so will build critical thinking and quick Verb problem
apply
decision making
.
Add a hyphen
decision-making
Moreover
, the other reason is Linking Words
learned
Wrong verb form
that learning
new
language and culture will improve their knowledge and networking. WhenCorrect article usage
a new
,
the families move to Remove the comma
apply
other place
, they will meet with different people so, Change the wording
another place
other places
Linking Words
this
families must learn to adapt Correct determiner usage
these
with
Change preposition
to
new
environment. It will create their personality to be more Add an article
the new
a new
respect
Replace the word
respectful
with
Change preposition
of
other
, Fix the agreement mistake
others
support
each other. Correct word choice
and support
For example
, Japan has strict Linking Words
policy
about hygiene and sanitation meanwhile Fix the agreement mistake
policies
this
family must comply with Linking Words
put
Wrong verb form
putting
the
litter Correct article usage
apply
on
the trash bin.
To Change preposition
in
be concluded
, the fact that people who want to Wrong verb form
conclude
out
Correct your spelling
outform
form
their country to another offer a moreCorrect your spelling
from
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task achievement
Your essay is mostly clear and relevant to the topic, but make sure to intensify your main points with more specific examples and develop them further to support your arguments completely.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured; however, the conclusion is incomplete. Make sure to add a concluding sentence that clearly summarizes your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on your grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and prepositions.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion regarding the advantages of families moving abroad for work, which is consistent throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and addresses the given question effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have used appropriate linking words to connect your ideas, which helps in maintaining the flow of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.