Nowadays, many schools find it profitable to sell unhealthy food and sugary drinks to students during lunch breaks. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In contemporary times, the majority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
schools
are providing unhealthy foods
to their students
during their lunch breaks,
and Remove the comma
apply
finds
it more profitable than selling healthy Correct subject-verb agreement
find
meals
. This
essay will oppose selling unhealthy meals
to the
Correct article usage
apply
children
. It will discuss the problems that are causing in the students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
health
. Following that it will discuss the necessary actions that can be taken to make children
avoid eating unhealthy foods
.
The students
are more attracted towards eathing
unhealthy Correct your spelling
eating
foods
and sugary drinks
. In addition
to this
, some schools
are selling unhealthy foods
or drinks
to the students
for their lunch. The recent survey which was taken among different schools
illustrates that,
up to sixty to seventy Remove the comma
apply
percent
of the Change the spelling
per cent
schools
are selling oily or unheathy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
meals
and drinks
to their students
for their own profit. Additionally
it Add a comma
Additionally,
also
states that,
almost 50 Remove the comma
apply
percent
of the Change the spelling
per cent
students
are facing health
issues because of their food habits. It was observed that the main issue among all the children
was obesity and regular sickness. The school
should be the place where students
should learn good habits rather than learning to lead an unhealthy life.
The schools
as well as
parents should try to bring awarness
to their Correct your spelling
awareness
children
about health
issues that were caused because of eating junk food. The awarness
program should be contacted Correct your spelling
awareness
to
all the Change preposition
by
students
. Although
it is more profitable for the schools
on selling
unhealthy Change preposition
to sell
meal
, they should avoid providing them. Fix the agreement mistake
meals
Instead
they should sell healthy Add a comma
Instead,
meal
and make the Fix the agreement mistake
meals
students
to
understand Change the verb form
apply
about
the advantages of eating healthy Change preposition
apply
foods
. The best example for
Change preposition
of
this
will be my school
. While
was studing
in Correct your spelling
studying
school
, they used to provide a healthy meal along with
that they also
provided the
notice that included all the Correct article usage
a
health
benefits of the meal that they were serving. This
bought
Correct your spelling
brought
an
Correct article usage
apply
awarness
to a lot of Correct your spelling
awareness
students
in my school
including me.
In conclusion, the
Correct article usage
apply
schools
should avoid providing unhealthy meals
to their students
. Furthermore
, they should try to bring awarness
to all the Correct your spelling
awareness
students
to eat appropriate food and lead a healthy life. In addition
to that fruit juices can be provided to the studend
Correct your spelling
students
instead
of sugary drinks
. Not only the shools
but Correct your spelling
schools
also
parents should make their children
to
eat healthy Change the verb form
apply
foods
.Submitted by r.harip3 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well but can be improved by further development of key ideas. Make sure to provide additional relevant examples and detailed explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay is mostly coherent, work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will enhance the overall flow and readability of your writing.
general
Carefully proofread your essay to avoid grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This will help communicate your ideas more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay. They set the context well and provide a satisfying closure.
supported main points
You have made a good attempt to support your main points with examples, such as the survey and your school's approach to healthy meals. This adds credibility to your argument.
logical structure
The essay structure is logical and easy to follow, with a clear progression of ideas. This helps in maintaining reader engagement.