IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources. Others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #space #exploration #waste #resources #mankind #universe
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At present, some people think that
space
exploration
 is not
much-needed
Correct article usage
a much-needed
show examples
 action,
while
 others believe that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. In my opinion, I believe that humans need to know and understand all sides of
space
.
To begin
 with, publicity around the world and over all periods, try to know about stars and
space
.
Moreover
, exploring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other planets can
illustrate
Verb problem
provide
show examples
 excellent knowledge for our
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
.
As a result
, in future, we can know the danger and provide any action
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our safety.
Such
 action,
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 us to opportunity to find a new planet for living on.
Therefore
, these aspects create amenities for science around the world to make a revolution in modern life.
For instance
, The USA
exploration
believe
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believes
show examples
 that
exploration
 of
space
 can help find medicine for some
ilnesses
Correct your spelling
illnesses
.
On the other hand
,
space
exploration
 must expensive which is going to on used for new facilities for our country. Unfortunately, sometimes these
exploration
 projects can disappear the money.
However
, these costs can
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 a major part of society, which lives
unedr
Correct your spelling
under
 the poverty line. As an example, in many African countries, the health facilities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 declining surprisingly
due to
 extreme hunger and poor health care. In conclusion,
space
exploration
 brings as many positive aspects as many drawbacks. But
overall
, we can see that people will always try
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new activities for our future, which means that the human future needs to have new
space
 exploring.
Submitted by moulvibazarhexas on

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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed and specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Ensure each point is developed fully with adequate explanation.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow of your essay. Make sure each paragraph flows naturally to the next, maintaining coherence throughout.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all main points are well supported with evidence or examples. Avoid making general statements without sufficient backing.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the writer's perspective.
task achievement
The discussion includes both viewpoints, showing a balanced approach to the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • astronomical costs
  • earthbound issues
  • tangible benefits
  • technological spin-offs
  • innovation
  • long-term investment
  • habitability
  • interplanetary travel
  • sustainable exploration
  • spacefaring nations
  • international collaboration
  • deep space
  • the final frontier
  • cosmic perspective
  • frontiers of science
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