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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the amount in grams of potatoes, pasta and rice eaten in a European country between 1976 and 2006.

The graph below shows the amount in grams of potatoes, pasta and rice eaten in a European country between 1976 and 2006.
#amount #grams #potatoes #pasta #rice #european #country
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The graph illustrates the amount of consumption of three groups of carbs including
ptatos
Correct your spelling
potatoes
,
pasta
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 and
rice
Use synonyms
 in a European country from 1976 to 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is a rapid and steady growth regarding the use of
pasta
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 over the year.
By
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the
contraty
Correct your spelling
contrary
,
Use synonyms
potatos
Correct your spelling
potatoes
 experience a gradual fall
in
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the course of time. Broadly speaking, the consumption rate of all three items
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 experienced fluctuations over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time.
in
Change preposition
At
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 the
beginnig
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the graph the the ranking of the items is as follows:
Use synonyms
potatos
Correct your spelling
potatoes
,
rice
Use synonyms
 and
pasta
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, after 30 years , in 2006 the ranking is completely reversed with
pasta
Use synonyms
, being the most popular with
500grams
Correct your spelling
500 grams
 of usage followed by
rice
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
potatos
Correct your spelling
potatoes
 with 200 and 100 grams respectively. with a close look at the statistics, three crossing points can be seen throughout the graph. in 1997
pasta
Use synonyms
 was gaining popularity in
Euroupian
Correct your spelling
European
 families'
diet
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diets
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in contrast
Linking Words
 to
rice
Use synonyms
 which
as
Correct your spelling
was
show examples
wxperiencing
Correct your spelling
experiencing
 a downfall.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the two
line
Change to a plural noun
lines
show examples
 met at 300 grams.
Then
Linking Words
,
pasta
Use synonyms
 kept on surging and reached
Use synonyms
potatos
Correct your spelling
potatoes
 in 1984 at 400.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
potatos
Correct your spelling
potatoes
 went on a steady fall reaching
rice
Use synonyms
 in 2001 at 200 grams of weekly consumption.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pasta, rice, potatos with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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