Write about the following topic: All over the world, the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. What problems does this cause? How can we overcome the problems of poverty? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Almost in all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parts of the
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
it was observed that the wealthy
people
are becoming
even more
Add the comma(s)
, even more,
show examples
wealthier
whereas
the poor
people
are becoming poorer.
This
essay will discuss the
problem
that was causing
this
issue. Following that it will discuss the solutions to overcome
this
problem
. The rich
people
are becoming richer and the poor
people
are becoming poorer. One of the main reasons behind
this
problem
is inflation. In contemporary times, the value of
money
is keep
Wrong verb form
keeps
show examples
on
deprecating
Correct your spelling
depreciating
show examples
.
As a result
of
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
a
person
wants to spend a lot of
money
on the same product, which he/she bought for
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
rate earlier. At
this
time when the
person
's
salary
was not increased
then
he
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
to spend all his income on buying things for his living.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
recent survey that was taken among the
people
illustrates that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
people
are spending all their
money
on buying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
products for their living
while
it varies in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
of wealthy
people
.
This
problem
can be solved by increasing the
salary
of a
person
or increasing the tax
lab
Correct your spelling
law
show examples
in a
country
. When the price of the product is increased and the
salary
/ tax lab is
also
increased
then
the
person
will have some extra amount to increase their standard of living. The best example for
this
scenario will be the
country
named ABC. In that
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
the value of
money
was keep
Wrong verb form
keeps
show examples
on increasing but the
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
of
people
who are living in
those
Change the determiner
that country
those countries
show examples
country
have not increased.
As a result
of
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
almost fifty to sixty
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
of the
people
are considered as the poor
people
in that
country
.
In addition
to that the
country
itself
now
Add a missing verb
is now
show examples
considered as one of the
poor
Correct word choice
poorest
show examples
countries in the world. In conclusion, increasing the standard of living of a
person
is not only
depend
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
upon him but
also
relies on the
country
he/she is living
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
When
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
external factor
such
as inflation affects the
people
in a
country
, the rich
people
can easily find a way to increase their wages
whereas
it is difficult for the poor
people
to sustain.
Submitted by r.harip3 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the question and attempts to discuss the problems and solutions related to the widening gap between the rich and the poor. However, the ideas could be more clearly organized. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that each point directly supports the thesis.
task achievement
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. For example, "the value of money is keep on deprecating" should be rephrased to "the value of money keeps depreciating." Pay attention to verb tenses and subject-verb agreement to improve clarity.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. The mention of "the country named ABC" is too vague and does not effectively illustrate your argument. Mention real-world examples or hypothetical but concrete situations.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally cohesive and the ideas flow logically. However, transitions between ideas can be improved to enhance the overall coherence. Use linking words and phrases such as "furthermore," "in addition," "however," etc., to connect your ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader. For example, the paragraph discussing inflation should start with a sentence like, "Inflation is a major contributing factor to the widening gap between the rich and the poor." This helps maintain focus.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy to follow the writer’s arguments.
task achievement
The writer attempts to provide solutions to the problem, which shows a comprehensive approach to the task.

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