IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

#cars #fuels
Some
people
 believe that vehicles which burn fossil fuels must be dispensed with
car electric
Replace the word
electricity
show examples
. In my opinion, I completely agree with the statement because it is cost-effective and non-environmentally friendly.
To begin
, there are numerous detrimental effects of having a car that burns fossil fuel which mainly are high-priced for individuals and the substantial money
that is
 spent on it.
This
 means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 fossil fuel is really costly for
people
 who have low incomes. As time passes, fossil fuel value is increasing which makes
people
 utilize electric transportation.
For example
, Tesla is an electric vehicle which
people
 use nowadays,
due to
 gasoline shortage which alternatively replaces it with electronic cars.
Moreover
, the
To conclude
, electric vehicles are preferred by
people
 who are more acknowledged of the negative impact of burning fossil fuels and how dangerous it is if we use them in the long term.
This
 is why
people
 use e-cars
instead
 of standard cars.
Submitted by noranaldhafiri on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to connect your ideas more smoothly. Ensure that each paragraph transitions logically to the next and that your points are clearly linked throughout the essay.
task response
Make sure to fully develop your points with relevant examples and details. The essay could benefit from a more extensive discussion about the environmental impact of fossil fuels.
task response
Clarify and elaborate on your main ideas. For instance, the point about electric cars being cost-effective should be expanded with more evidence and explanation.
coherence cohesion
Avoid leaving paragraphs unfinished, as this can significantly impact the coherence and completeness of your essay. Make sure each paragraph fully develops a single point before moving on to the next one.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is a good start.
introduction conclusion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives your essay a good structure.
relevant specific examples
The example about Tesla being an alternative to gasoline cars is relevant and helps to illustrate your point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
What to do next:
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