Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Doing voluntary
community
Use synonyms
service
can be a crucial way to contribute to society and some people recommend that it can be included in the secondary Use synonyms
school
compulsory education. To a large extent, I agree with Use synonyms
this
suggestion. In the following, the advantages and disadvantages of doing unpaid Linking Words
community
Use synonyms
service
will Use synonyms
both
be discussed.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
To begin
with, doing unpaid Linking Words
community
Use synonyms
service
can broaden the student’s horizons. Use synonyms
Students
who Use synonyms
at
a young age Add a missing verb
are at
in
the high Change preposition
at
school
level usually have little social Use synonyms
exposures
and lack the opportunity to get in touch with different groups of people in Fix the agreement mistake
exposure
the
society. By working for a charitable organization Correct article usage
apply
or
improving the neighborhood or teaching kids about sports, they are allowed to get Correct word choice
apply
along with
people from various backgrounds and Linking Words
thus
be able to have a deeper understanding of Linking Words
the
society at an easier age.
Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, unpaid Linking Words
community
Use synonyms
service
can cultivate the kind and helpful personalities of teenagers. Use synonyms
Community
services Use synonyms
are usually help
vulnerable groups in the Change the verb form
usually help
community
Use synonyms
such
as grassroots, stray animals, and the elderly. Through volunteering, Linking Words
students
at high Use synonyms
school
levels can gain a sense of achievement by realizing their help can make a difference and improve the lives of others. Use synonyms
Consequently
, Linking Words
this
favours the teenagers in developing their kindness and helpfulness when they are young which can be beneficial to their mental development.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, volunteering may increase the workload of high Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
students
. Secondary Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
students
especially at the senior level may already have a packed schedule with many lessons and homework in their daily routine. The unpaid Use synonyms
community
Use synonyms
service
may lead to a burden of the busy Use synonyms
school
life or even they may need to sacrifice their holidays and weekends for these extracurricular activities, which may lead to an extra burden for Use synonyms
students
.
To summarize, volunteering tends to bring more pros than cons to student development, Use synonyms
however
, the workload contribution may Linking Words
also
need to be carefully considered in order to let Linking Words
students
learn in both an enjoyable and fruitful way.Use synonyms
Submitted by asllchkied on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay does a good job of addressing the task prompt, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of compulsory community service in high schools. However, it could benefit from a more balanced exploration of the disadvantages, offering additional specific examples or scenarios for a more comprehensive analysis.
coherence cohesion
The essay exhibits a logical flow and clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, to enhance coherence, consider using more varied and smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point is elaborated with specific details and examples. For instance, discuss particular types of charitable work or how it concretely impacts student development and community well-being to make the main points more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion aptly summarizes the main points.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides a thorough response through appropriate arguments and examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.