IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Topic: The pie chart gives information on UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion.

Topic: The pie chart gives information on UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion.
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The supplied pie chart illustrates some data about where the government budget (AED 315
billion
Use synonyms
) was spent during 2000 in UAE. 
Overall
Linking Words
, there were 10 sections for spending the budget with social security being the most remarkable in the pie chart. As can be seen, approximately
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of the money was expended
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social security,
while
Linking Words
 both transport and industry, agriculture and employment contained only 9 and 17
billion
Use synonyms
 respectively which were the least part of the chart. It is clearly shown that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 53
billion
Use synonyms
 of
budget
Add an article
the budget
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 was for health and personal social services.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, 15
billion
Use synonyms
 was consumed for housing heritage and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, law and order experienced the same pattern with only
2
Correct article usage
a 2
show examples
billion
Use synonyms
 increase compared with housing heritage and environment.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the amount of debt interest was 23
billion
Use synonyms
 as same as other
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
. Generally speaking,
Correct article usage
the defense’s
show examples
defense’s
Change noun form
defense
show examples
 section was 22
billion
Use synonyms
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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