IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Art classes, such as painting and drawing ,are as important to a child's development as other subjects , so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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A common trend
accuring
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occurring
accruing
 in the modern days
that
Add a missing verb
is that
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schools
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 are
inclining
Wrong verb form
inclined
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 towards focusing on academic
subjects
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 rather than artistic
classes
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.
However
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 ,
the
Correct article usage
a
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major
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majority
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 of individuals felt that
art
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 lessons should be added to
curriculum
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the curriculum
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due to
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it's
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their
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 profound impact on
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child's
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children's
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 improvement.
This
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 essay totally agrees that
subjects
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relate
Wrong verb form
related
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 to artistic fields should be paid more attention by
schools
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. One of the vital
point
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points
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 to explain is that painting is a great method for
students
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 to develop their creativity and
imaginary
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imagination
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. Pupils might have various ways to express their own feelings in the pictures through colours and images.
As a result
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 ,
art
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classes
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 will lend a hand to teenagers to think of some particular issues
in
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with
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a
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an
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 open mind, which
help
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helps
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 them to be more creative and flexible. Take primary
schools
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 in Japan as a good example , where
students
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 have to study both
mathetical
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mathematical
 and artistic
subjects
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should
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and should
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also
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 pay more attention
on
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to
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 fields of
art
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 to make sure that children will gain
the
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a
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 high-quality education background Another point to consider is that drawing is one of the easiest ways for a
child
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 to unwind and recharge
battery
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the battery
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 after a long day under pressure with mathematics and chemistry. A curriculum or timetable without any
art
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classes
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migh
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might
 make
students
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 feel uncomfortable and lose their motivation to take part in
classes
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. For the most comprehensive development, a
child
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have
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has
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 to both try
the
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their
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 best
on studying
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to study
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 and
also
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 have
approriate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 time for relaxing.
For instance
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 , many secondary and high
schools
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 in the USA help their
students
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to
Verb problem
apply
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alleviate stress by adding
paiting
Correct your spelling
painting
classes
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in
Change preposition
to
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 the schedule to aid
to reduce
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in reducing
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 strain and fatigue.
To conclude
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,
art
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 is
also
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 a crucial part
on
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of
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 a
child
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's improvement ,which
help
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helps
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 to lead to a sense of creativity.
Hence
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,
schools
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 have to pay more focus on artistic fields as similar
as
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to
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 academic
subjects
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 to ensure pupils have an extensive education

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introduction conclusion
The introduction is clear, but it could be more concise. Consider revising sentences to be more straightforward, e.g., "A common trend in modern schools is focusing more on academic subjects rather than artistic ones."
supported main points
Ensure that each main point is supported with more detail and examples. For instance, expand on how art helps with creativity and flexibility.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some sentences are hard to follow due to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Revising these can improve clarity. For example, "painting is a method for developing students' creativity and imagination" can be clearer.
complete response
The essay clearly agrees with the statement and consistently supports this stance throughout.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples are provided, such as the mention of primary schools in Japan and secondary/high schools in the USA.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the importance of art in education.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enhances
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • innovatively
  • curriculum
  • mental health
  • emotional expression
  • stress relief
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • creatively
  • cultural diversity
  • artistic traditions
  • compulsory
  • well-rounded education
  • academic performance
  • concentrate
  • attention to detail
  • persevere
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