Art classes, such as painting and drawing , are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In light of the proliferation of education quality,
art
is an inseperatable
Correct your spelling
inseparable
subject
for the enhancement of children, therefore
, it must be considered as a compulsory subject
in high schools. However
, this
writter
Correct your spelling
writer
contending
Wrong verb form
contends
art
is a talented subject
which require
immersion and should be optional.
It is vital to understand that Change the verb form
requires
art
requires talent which not everyone can fulfill. In other word
, painting and drawing are specific subjects which Change the wording
another word
other words
is
Change the verb form
are
substially
hard to approach without initial knowledge and skills. By implementing it as Correct your spelling
substantially
main
Add an article
the main
a main
subject
in schools, it may waste time and effort to do those things which they are not good at , therefore
, they can utilize their materials to concentrate on other subjects instead
. For instance
, a
BBC records showed that 76% of a particular Correct article usage
apply
highschool
in the US skipped the Correct your spelling
high school
art
lesson due to
complex
curriculum and Correct article usage
the complex
cost
majority of Correct article usage
the cost
time
to acquire Correct article usage
the time
high
score.
Add an article
a high
Furthermore
, there is no doubt that this
field need
Change the verb form
needs
long
period and passion to master. A Correct article usage
a long
proffesional
artist must show initial interest in his Correct your spelling
professional
likelichildhood
to be successful. If individuals are not dedicated Correct your spelling
like childhood
in
Change preposition
to
this
subject
, they will lose their interest soon and cannot construe their career. Thus
, art
should be optional to reduce the risk of being unemployed.
Not withstanding
the drawbacks, it prompts students Correct your spelling
Notwithstanding
developing
their potential Change the verb form
to develop
ability
. It must be acknowledged that Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
art
is a conceptual subject
which can let learns
show creativity and patience. Replace the word
learners
Moreover
, it can also
be a lesson to relax and immerse in artistry products . Despite those benefits, other subjects not arr can also
prompt students
imagination Change noun form
students'
student's
such
as geometry and they have realistic usage in further
career
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
careers
art
may bring several advantages for educators but it should be optional due to
high requirement
and talent . Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
Hence
, art
should not be evaluated as a
essential Change the article
an
subject
in secondary or higher level
of education.Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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Grammar and Spelling
Ensure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical mistakes. Some words, like 'inseperatable' and 'proffesional,' are misspelled, and others, like 'likelichildhood,' don't convey the intended meaning clearly.
Content Development
Develop your ideas and arguments more clearly and comprehensively. Some points, such as the complexity of art curricula and its time consumption, should be further elaborated with more relevant examples and explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving transitions between paragraphs and sentences to enhance the essay's flow. Use more linking phrases to create a smoother transition from one point to the next.
Position
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, arguing that art should be optional in high schools due to its complexity and the talent required.
Supported Arguments
The essay includes relevant examples, such as the BBC record about the high school in the US, to support the argument.
Your opinion
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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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