Art classes, such as painting and drawing , are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In light of the proliferation of education quality,
art
is an
inseperatable
Correct your spelling
inseparable
subject
for the enhancement of children,
therefore
, it must be considered as a compulsory
subject
in high schools.
However
,
this
writter
Correct your spelling
writer
contending
Wrong verb form
contends
show examples
art
is a talented
subject
which
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
immersion and should be optional. It is vital to understand that
art
requires talent which not everyone can fulfill. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
show examples
, painting and drawing are specific subjects which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
substially
Correct your spelling
substantially
hard to approach without initial knowledge and skills. By implementing it as
main
Add an article
the main
a main
show examples
subject
in schools, it may waste time and effort to do those things which they are not good at ,
therefore
, they can utilize their materials to concentrate on other subjects
instead
.
For instance
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
BBC records showed that 76% of a particular
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
in the US skipped the
art
lesson
due to
complex
Correct article usage
the complex
show examples
curriculum and
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
majority of
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
to acquire
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
score.
Furthermore
, there is no doubt that
this
field
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
period and passion to master. A
proffesional
Correct your spelling
professional
artist must show initial interest in his
likelichildhood
Correct your spelling
like childhood
to be successful. If individuals are not dedicated
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
subject
, they will lose their interest soon and cannot construe their career.
Thus
,
art
should be optional to reduce the risk of being unemployed.
Not withstanding
Correct your spelling
Notwithstanding
show examples
the drawbacks, it prompts students
developing
Change the verb form
to develop
show examples
their potential
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
. It must be acknowledged that
art
is a conceptual
subject
which can let
learns
Replace the word
learners
show examples
show creativity and patience.
Moreover
, it can
also
be a lesson to relax and immerse in artistry products . Despite those benefits, other subjects not arr can
also
prompt
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
imagination
such
as geometry and they have realistic usage in
further
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. In conclusion,
art
may bring several advantages for educators but it should be optional
due to
high
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
and talent .
Hence
,
art
should not be evaluated as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
essential
subject
in secondary or higher
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
of education.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar and Spelling
Ensure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical mistakes. Some words, like 'inseperatable' and 'proffesional,' are misspelled, and others, like 'likelichildhood,' don't convey the intended meaning clearly.
Content Development
Develop your ideas and arguments more clearly and comprehensively. Some points, such as the complexity of art curricula and its time consumption, should be further elaborated with more relevant examples and explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving transitions between paragraphs and sentences to enhance the essay's flow. Use more linking phrases to create a smoother transition from one point to the next.
Position
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, arguing that art should be optional in high schools due to its complexity and the talent required.
Supported Arguments
The essay includes relevant examples, such as the BBC record about the high school in the US, to support the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enhances
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • innovatively
  • curriculum
  • mental health
  • emotional expression
  • stress relief
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • creatively
  • cultural diversity
  • artistic traditions
  • compulsory
  • well-rounded education
  • academic performance
  • concentrate
  • attention to detail
  • persevere
What to do next:
Look at other essays: