IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 era, there are
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
 between people
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the importance
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
, for
instant
Replace the word
instance
show examples
, painting or drawing to the children’s development like other subjects and it should be compulsory in high schools.
This
Linking Words
 writer argues with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 it can have on
students
Use synonyms
 like stress release or
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 creativity in other subjects.
Due to
Linking Words
 many stressful
classes
Use synonyms
 like
math
Use synonyms
, chemistry,
Correct word choice
and physic
show examples
physic
Fix the agreement mistake
physics
show examples
,
students
Use synonyms
 need a place to rest after these
classes
Use synonyms
 and
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the best option for them.
In other words
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 can be a perfect place for
students
Use synonyms
 to release all their stress.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
draw
Wrong verb form
drawing
show examples
 a lovely painting can
also
Linking Words
 make some
students
Use synonyms
 feel better,
encourage
Correct word choice
and encourage
show examples
 them to study more.
For instance
Linking Words
, many schools in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japan have
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 in their schedule, which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 a lot of
students
Use synonyms
 to rest and
ready
Add a missing verb
be ready
show examples
 for the next
classes
Use synonyms
. Another benefit is the improvement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
creativity in
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
mindset
Fix the agreement mistake
mindsets
show examples
. With these
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 in their schedule,
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
 will be able to improve their creativity, which is helpful for their mind to solve many problems in
Math
Use synonyms
, chemistry or
physic
Fix the agreement mistake
physics
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 be used in teaching chemistry and
physic
Fix the agreement mistake
physics
show examples
 which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them easier to understand and
have
Verb problem
gives
show examples
 a chance to make the
students
Use synonyms
have passion
Wrong verb form
passionate
show examples
 about many subjects like
math
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
, when applying
art
Use synonyms
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
math
Use synonyms
 in the UK in 2017, the
portpotion
Correct your spelling
port portion
 of
students
Use synonyms
 who
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in
math
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 have been increasing clearly compare to the
last
Linking Words
 to years. In conclusion, having
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 not only
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 student release their stress after many
classes
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
cam
Correct your spelling
can
show examples
 make
students
Use synonyms
 be creative in other
classes
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance your essay's coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph sticks more clearly to one main idea. Include clear topic sentences and ensure your ideas flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Work on providing more comprehensive and relevant examples to support your points. Using specific examples or case studies can strengthen your arguments considerably.
task achievement
Your essay presents a complete response to the task, covering different aspects of the topic, including stress release and improvement of creativity.
coherence cohesion
You successfully include an introduction and a conclusion in your essay, which helps frame the argument and summarily express your viewpoint.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enhances
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • innovatively
  • curriculum
  • mental health
  • emotional expression
  • stress relief
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • creatively
  • cultural diversity
  • artistic traditions
  • compulsory
  • well-rounded education
  • academic performance
  • concentrate
  • attention to detail
  • persevere
What to do next:
Look at other essays: