Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that high schools should impose
art
-based Use synonyms
subjects
as major Use synonyms
subjects
because of Use synonyms
positive
effects on Correct pronoun usage
their positive
child's
development. Correct article usage
a child's
While
there may be certain Linking Words
argument
against Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
this
suggestion, Linking Words
i
still wholeheartedly agree with it for several reasons.
Opponents of Change the capitalization
I
this
view may have several arguments. They Linking Words
well
argue that Correct your spelling
will
art
Use synonyms
classes
deprive Use synonyms
students
of Use synonyms
concertration
Correct your spelling
concentration
concentrations
toward
science-based Change preposition
on
subjects
, leading Use synonyms
bad
results Change preposition
to bad
of
education. The reason for Change preposition
in
this
is when Linking Words
students
attend these artistic Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
such
as drawing and painting, they Linking Words
would be
inclined to spend more time on these types of Wrong verb form
are
practises
. Replace the word
practices
Therefore
, putting more effort Linking Words
on
producing excellent outcomes based on Change preposition
into
art
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
which
makes teenagers Correct pronoun usage
apply
are
likely to be less Unnecessary verb
apply
focus
on other ones. Replace the word
focused
Nevertheless
, Linking Words
this
is true in Linking Words
few
cases because of the fact that unless there Correct article usage
a few
are
a majority of Change the verb form
is
artistic-thinking
of children, they can allocate devotion and perseverance on each Correct your spelling
artistic thinking
Use synonyms
subjects
appropriately. The US, Change to a singular noun
subject
for example
, where most of Linking Words
science
champions Add an article
the science
were
come from has a vibrant school Unnecessary verb
apply
schedules
with Correct the article-noun agreement
schedule
host
of Add an article
a host
art
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
lessons
lesssons
Correct your spelling
lessons
However
, I still firmly agree that Linking Words
art
-based Use synonyms
subjects
should be adopted as main courses in high educational institutions for several reasons. Chief among these is that Use synonyms
art
lessons can actually Use synonyms
enhence
children's cognitive thinking in certain respects. Correct your spelling
enhance
In deed
, drawing, Correct your spelling
Indeed
singing
require Correct word choice
and singing
students
Use synonyms
some
specific skills, which could encourage teenagers to explore themselves more in a deep way. Change preposition
to some
As a result
, by being free in their own passion, children could provide more creative works impressively. Concerning the second beneficial suspect, Linking Words
students
can deter from negative effects on their mental health. Use synonyms
This
is because more Linking Words
students
are suffering Use synonyms
their
Change preposition
from their
hetic
schedules, resulting in stress and peer pressure, and by Correct your spelling
hectic
participate
in Change the form of the verb
participating
art
Use synonyms
classes
, Use synonyms
students
would Use synonyms
be hone
practical skills rather than learning academic theories most of the time. Change the verb form
hone
Therefore
, less pressureLinking Words
were
put on them Change the verb form
was
in
Change preposition
during
schooling
period.
In conclusion, it is understandable why some may argue that headers should not take Correct article usage
the schooling
art
Use synonyms
classes
as main courses. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
i
still strongly agree with Change the capitalization
I
this
statement given the mentioned reasons.Linking Words
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grammar
Work on your grammar and punctuation. There are several grammatical errors and some punctuation issues that slightly affect the clarity of your points.
examples
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will not only strengthen your points but also make your essay more convincing.
coherence
Improve the transitions between paragraphs. This will enhance the overall flow and coherence of your essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
structure
You have a clear introduction and a conclusion that summarize your viewpoint effectively.
logical structure
You organized your essay logically and maintained a consistent argument throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your points about the benefits of art classes in enhancing cognitive thinking and mental health are well addressed.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example