IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

SOME PEOPLE THINK IT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO SPEND MONEY ON ROADS AND MOTORWAYS THAN ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT SYSTEMS SUCH AS RAILWAYS AND TRAMS.TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE OR DISAGREE?

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TO MAJORITY OF PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT
ROAD
Fix the agreement mistake
ROADS
show examples
 AND
MOTORWAYS
Use synonyms
 SHOULD BE INVESTED AND UPGRADED RATHER THAN
THE
Correct article usage
apply
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PUBLIC
TRANSPORTATION
Use synonyms
 LIKE TRAMS AND RAILWAYS. I EXTEND THAT THE LATER IS MORE VITAL BECAUSE NOT ONLY THE ENVIRONMENT WILL BE IMPROVED BUT
ALSO
Linking Words
MOTORWAYS
Use synonyms
 AND
ROADS
Use synonyms
 ARE EASY TO BE DAMAGED THROUGHOUT THE SHORT PERIOD OF TIME
INITIALLY
Linking Words
, THE ENVIRONMENT IS MOSTLY AFFECTED BY THE
TRANSPORTATION
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. THE HIGH RATE OF CARBON DIOXIDE FROM
THE
Correct article usage
apply
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CARS,
MOTORBIKES
Correct word choice
AND MOTORBIKES
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, … ARE
THE
Correct article usage
apply
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CLEAR EVIDENCE PROVING THAT THEORY. WHEN WE SPEND
MONEY
Use synonyms
 ON RAILWAYS OR TRAMS, THERE
TWO
Add a missing verb
ARE TWO
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 TYPES
CAN
Correct pronoun usage
THAT CAN
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 REDUCE
THE
Correct article usage
apply
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CARBON DIOXIDE
EMISSION
Fix the agreement mistake
EMISSIONS
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.
OTHERWISE
Linking Words
,
THIS
Linking Words
 IS THE PUBLIC
TRANSPORTATION
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 WHICH
MEAN
Change the verb form
MEANS
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 THEY CAN REPLACE
THE
Change the article
A
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 LARGE
AMOUNT
Change the quantifier
NUMBER
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 OF PRIVATE CARS.
FOR EXAMPLE
Linking Words
, IN JAPAN, ALMOST ALL THE
EMPLYEES
Correct your spelling
EMPLOYEES
 CHOOSE
THE
Correct article usage
apply
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PUBLIC
TRANSPORTATION
Use synonyms
SUCH
Linking Words
 AS
SUBWAY
Correct article usage
THE SUBWAY
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,
THE
Correct word choice
AND THE
show examples
 RESULT IS
THAT IS
Linking Words
 ONE OG THE
CLEANLINESS
Replace the word
MOST IMPORTANT
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 COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD. PUBLIC
TRANSPORTATION
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 PLAY AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN THE GLOBAL DEVELOPMENT.
ADDITIONALLY
Linking Words
, THE
MOTORWAYS
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 AND
ROADS
Use synonyms
 ARE NOT SUSTAINABLE ENOUGH SO WHY SHOULD WE SPEND A
LOTS
Correct quantifier usage
LOT
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 OF
MONEY
Use synonyms
 ON
THERE
Correct your spelling
THEM
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? EVERYDAY, A THOUSAND
OF
Change preposition
apply
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VEHICLES MOVE AROUND THE CITY SO THE
QUALITYOF
Correct your spelling
QUALITY OF
 THE STREETSHAVE TO BE OUTSTANDING, IF NOT,
IT
Correct pronoun usage
THEY
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WILLL
Correct your spelling
WILL
WIL
 BE DAMAGED A LOT. REALISTICALLY, THE MOTORWAY AND
ROADS
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 ARE THE REQUIRED FACILITIES IN
THE
Correct article usage
apply
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SOCIETY, BUT IF WE INVEST OUR
MONEY
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 TO
BUIL
Correct your spelling
BUILD
 RAILS, THERE WILL BE MORE BENEFITS.
FOR EXAMPLE
Linking Words
, VIETNAM IS THE COUNTRY WHICH
HAVE
Change the verb form
HAS
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 A LOT OF ROADSBUT MOSTLY NONE OF THEM ARE SMOOTH AND BEAUTIFUL. ALL THE
HIGH QUALITY
Add a hyphen
HIGH-QUALITY
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OF
Change preposition
apply
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ROADS
Use synonyms
 IN VIETNAM ARE FROM
COOPERATION
Correct your spelling
CORPORATIONS
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SUCH
Linking Words
 AS VINGROUP
, THAO
Correct your spelling
AND THAO
 DIEN, … AS WE CAN SEE, IT IS NOT INTELLIGENT TO DO
THE
Correct article usage
apply
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THINGS THAT CONTAIN LOTS OF
FUND
Change to a plural noun
FUNDS
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 BUT IT’S NOT NECESSARY. IN CONCLUSION, EVEN
ROADS
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 AND
MOTORWAYS
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 ARE THE ESSENTIAL FACILITIES IN THE COMMUNITY
HOWEVER
Linking Words
 THE ADVANTAGES OF PUBLIC VEHICLES OUTWEIGH THE FORMER. SPENDING
MONEY
Use synonyms
 ON
TRAM
Fix the agreement mistake
TRAMS
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 AND RAILWAYS, IS THE BEST WAY TO AVOID WASTE OF TIME AND
MONEY
Use synonyms

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position but would benefit from more balanced arguments. Considering opposing viewpoints can enhance the depth of your essay.
task achievement
While your points are relevant, some of the supporting examples provided are not clearly explained or are repetitive. Ensure examples are detailed and varied.
coherence cohesion
Try to keep your paragraphs more focused. Each paragraph should discuss a single idea or a group of related ideas. This can improve the logical flow and structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
There are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing in your essay. Consider more careful editing for clearer expression. Working on your grammar and sophistication of language can help improve clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Linking phrases and transitional words are used inconsistently. More effective use of cohesive devices can better connect your ideas and support the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay well.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and maintains a consistent position throughout, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
You have made an effort to provide relevant examples to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • public transport systems
  • economic growth
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • social equity
  • urban development
  • sustainable
  • mobility needs
  • revitalization
  • efficiency
  • safety
  • reliance
  • combatting
  • mitigating
What to do next:
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