IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You left a jacket behind at a restaurant you went to recently. Write a letter to the restaurant manager. In your letter describe the jacket explain when you visited the restaurant and where you were sitting say want you want the manager to do. Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ...,

#jacket #restaurant #manager #addresses
Dear Sir, I am writing a letter to inform you that l recently
dined-in
Correct your spelling
dined in
show examples
 your
restaurant
 and by mistake, I left my
jacket
 there. Please keep it with you until I visit your
restaurant
 again. Let me tell you how the
jacket
 looks. It is brown in colour and it has
zip
Correct article usage
a zip
show examples
 on both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides. The material of
jacket
Add an article
the jacket
show examples
 is leather. It
also
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 buttons on the arms. The
jacket
 is of large size. It has a handkerchief in the pocket which I always keep. I visited your
restaurant
 on 5th of June on Saturday.I was sitting near the billing counter in your
restaurant
. There was a single table and a chair where I sat because I was alone.So, I
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
 table and chair to
sat
Change the form of the verb
sit
show examples
. I would like you to keep my
jacket
 in your
restaurant
 for some days. I will be visiting your
restaurant
 in the next 3 days. Thank you. Yours Sincerely, Deepak
Submitted by jatinderpanaich328 on

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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score for coherence and cohesion, you could ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea more clearly. This will make your letter more structured and easier to follow.
task achievement
Although your response to the task is complete, try to be more concise and to the point to improve clarity. For example, you could avoid repetition of certain points.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter are polite and appropriate for the context.
task achievement
You have provided a detailed description of the jacket, mentioned the visit date, and explained your request clearly, covering all aspects of the task.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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