In the past people used to travel abroed to liik for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Do the adventages outweight disadventages?
#people #travel #liik #differences #home #country #cities #world #adventages #outweight #disadventages
By
millennium
, people used to travel in order to compare their hometowns with foreign Add an article
the millennium
countries
. Today they will not be able to do it with the same aim, since monopolies become similar.It has
wrong Verb problem
is
due to
the globalization
and social networking system. Althought therer
are Correct your spelling
Although there
couple
of Add an article
a couple
adventages
,Correct your spelling
advantages
Correct article usage
the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
outweight
them. The main cons is that Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
countries
are losing their own aesthetic sides at all.
The main reason of this
challenge is the international globalization
. In order to be equal in all general aspects such
as economy, commerce and level of life nations have decided to keep with this
strategy.In addition
, by watching the lifestyle of others through networks, inhabitants of each country tend to copy their quality of life. For example
, in Uzbekistan, youth try to keep with Korean adults’ view on life as well as
older who want to have similar technology growth and economy as Korea. In other words
, there is an aim among all governments to have both similar and equal influence.
Therefore
, globalization
and social networks have contributed us to being similar.
Regarding to cons, there are some which will damage
on
Change preposition
apply
a
special atmosphere of the country. There will not be colouring between Correct article usage
the
countries
, which used to be curiosity for everyone.
It will damage
tourism, which is the main income in most countries
such
as the USA.Moreover
, they will forget about themselves as a nation with their custom and religion.For instance
: South American countries
have lost 20 per cent of their tourist, since they developed as well as
America,which means that they do not have their festivals and things like this
.being
Capitalize word
Being
correctly
, all Replace the adverb
correct
disadventages
are able to Correct your spelling
disadvantages
disadvantaged
damage
on
some monopolies' Change preposition
apply
asspects
. Correct your spelling
aspects
Therefore
, If we do not stop it, countries
will lose their own traditions.
In conclusion , although
it will lead us to globalization
,it will damage
on nation's culture and percentage of tourists.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
Your essay attempts to address the task and presents a stance, but it lacks depth and thoroughness in its arguments. Aim to fully develop your ideas with more specific examples and explanations to improve the Task Response.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Some ideas appear unconnected or underexplained. Consider using more linking words and phrases to ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next for better Coherence and Cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each of your main points is well-supported with relevant examples. Strengthen the arguments against globalization and include more concrete instances where possible.
task achievement
You've successfully identified and introduced the main issues surrounding globalization and cultural homogenization.
coherence cohesion
The essay does have a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a defined structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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