In the past people used to travel abroed to liik for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Do the adventages outweight disadventages?

#people #travel #liik #differences #home #country #cities #world #adventages #outweight #disadventages

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

millennium

Add an article

the millennium

show examples

, people used to travel in order to compare their hometowns with foreign

countries

. Today they will not be able to do it with the same aim, since monopolies become similar.It

has

Verb problem

show examples

wrong

due to

the

globalization

and social networking system.

Althought therer

Correct your spelling

Although there

are

couple

Add an article

a couple

show examples

adventages

Correct your spelling

advantages

Correct article usage

the

show examples

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

outweighs

them. The main cons is that

countries

are losing their own aesthetic sides at all. The main reason of

this

challenge is the international

globalization

. In order to be equal in all general aspects

such

as economy, commerce and level of life nations have decided to keep with

this

strategy.

In addition

, by watching the lifestyle of others through networks, inhabitants of each country tend to copy their quality of life.

For example

, in Uzbekistan, youth try to keep with Korean adults’ view on life

as well as

older who want to have similar technology growth and economy as Korea.

In other words

, there is an aim among all governments to have both similar and equal influence.

Therefore

globalization

and social networks have contributed us to being similar. Regarding to cons, there are some which will

damage

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

special atmosphere of the country. There will not be colouring between

countries

, which used to be curiosity for everyone. It will

damage

tourism, which is the main income in most

countries

such

as the USA.

Moreover

, they will forget about themselves as a nation with their custom and religion.

For instance

: South American

countries

have lost 20 per cent of their tourist, since they developed

as well as

America,which means that they do not have their festivals and things like

this

being

Capitalize word

Being

show examples

correctly

Replace the adverb

correct

show examples

, all

disadventages

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

disadvantaged

are able to

damage

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some monopolies'

asspects

Correct your spelling

aspects

Therefore

, If we do not stop it,

countries

will lose their own traditions. In conclusion ,

although

it will lead us to

globalization

,it will

damage

on nation's culture and percentage of tourists.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Mon May 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay attempts to address the task and presents a stance, but it lacks depth and thoroughness in its arguments. Aim to fully develop your ideas with more specific examples and explanations to improve the Task Response.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Some ideas appear unconnected or underexplained. Consider using more linking words and phrases to ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next for better Coherence and Cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each of your main points is well-supported with relevant examples. Strengthen the arguments against globalization and include more concrete instances where possible.

task achievement

You've successfully identified and introduced the main issues surrounding globalization and cultural homogenization.

coherence cohesion

The essay does have a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a defined structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

312 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
You recently went on a holiday tour for a week. Your friend lent you a guide book. Write a letter to thank your friend. In your letter, tell your friend about the holiday explain how the guidebook was helpful tell him/her when and how you will return the guide book You should write at least 150 words.
How are you? I hope you are fine.
4
band
One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In the present times, the upgraded medical care system can have both positive and negative outcomes in society. Despite that condition; however, I agree that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages, which will be discussed in this essay.
7.5
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
It is widely argued that a large part of sugar consumption that is detrimental to public well-being comes from many processed food products, for which reason their sales should be limited by making the prices rise. To my mind, such an approach to lower public sugar consumption and, with that, attain better health rates is senseless and even adverse, as this may cause quite a contrary effect.
6.5
band
You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. Write to the tour operator. In your letter: • Explain why you're interested in the tour. • Ask for information about dates and prices. • Express your concerns about your fitness level.
To whom it may concern,
6.5
band
Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local language. If these are not taught many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?
In today's globalized world, learning English is often considered more important than learning local languages. English is widely

In the past people used to travel abroed to liik for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Do the adventages outweight disadventages?

Fully explain your ideas

One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local language. If these are not taught many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?