The bar chart shows the percentage of Australian boys and girls school pupils) attending 4 different sports activities after school in 2010.

#bar #percentage #australian #boys #girls #school #pupils #sports #activities

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The bar chart compares the percentage of Australian

boys

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and

girls

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attending 4 different sports activities after school in 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

, football was the most popular

activity

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for

boys

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and for

girls

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the highest

activity

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was

netball

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. As the bar chart shows, in Australia swimming sport was 17% for

girls

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, but for

boys

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was 12%. The football was 20% for

boys

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, but for

girls

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was 4%. The most famous

activity

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for

girls

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netball

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was 18%, but unfortunately,

this

Linking Words

game for

boys

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was 2%.

Regarding the

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The

show examples

basketball

activity

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was almost the same for

boys

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and

girls

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. For

boys

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was 3% and for

girls

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was 5%. When the football game was extremely increased among the

boys

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, the

netball

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activity

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was sharply decreased.

Footballfootball

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Football football

was the slowest sport for

girls

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and the most popular for them was

netball

Use synonyms

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Mon May 20 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, activity, netball with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

135 words

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The bar chart shows the percentage of Australian boys and girls school pupils) attending 4 different sports activities after school in 2010.

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others,however,believe that boys and girls benefit more attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Some people thnk that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?